Smack talk is a staple in my everyday conversation. It is my favorite form of communication because it keeps the conversation exciting. All in good fun, of course. The way I see it, talking smack is an art. Smack talk has probably been around for thousands of years, yet I still find myself uncomfortable at a failed attempt. Here is a quick guide on how to talk smack -- well.      

Creativity is the most key element to good smack talking. Not all smack talk takes a genius to think of, but when creativity plays a part on the burn it, more often than not, leaves the receiver a little speechless and very burned. Although lines such as, “Texas sux,"  are always appropriate, something creative like, “the come too sooners,” really gets under your skin. The credit for this annoyingly creative line is given to TCU. Let’s all brush that weekend off.    

2. Execution. Execution is everything in smack talk. You could spit the wittiest line you have, but if no one hears it, then it’s dead. You can’t repeat it. It takes away 60 percent of its power. You need to spit your smack talk at the appropriate moment. Proper smack talk should receive recognition and reaction almost immediately upon execution. Appropriateness should always be considered. You don’t want to say something so wildly inappropriate that it makes your university look crude and immature. I think witty, truthful comments are the best way to go. 

One of my favorites of the year is, “I will not wear that gaudy orange, I will not. It is not in my color wheel and I’m not gonna wear it.” This line is useful for the Tennessee, Texas, and Oklahoma State games. Use it wisely, and use it often. It’s true, orange is the ugliest color.