There are few satisfactions equivalent to the immense joy I feel when I am performing. Certainly, musical performance is anxiety-ridden and brimming with anticipation, yet it also invokes a sort of inextinguishable passion in that it accumulates so much emotional response, from both the performer and the audience. Nothing could be more exhilarating than running the sappy hairs of the bow across the tense strings of the Violin, vibrato singing from the delicately-carved wood of the instrument while the audience is in awe and bewilderment while reading the crests and the troughs of the story laid out before them. Each dynamic or key change leads to increased tension or a subtle release of tension, yet there is never a prominent cease to the tale, merely a pause intended to allow the listener to finish the story.
In addition to this, there is something incredibly captivating about the language the performers speak, and how the symbols developed for it coalesce. I, as a primarily English-speaking Violinist, can sit beside any other Violinist in the world who speaks any other language, yet we can communicate effortlessly because though we might not speak the same vocal language, we both possess music as our secondary tongue. Simply using the scroll of your instrument to conduct or making small musical notations or markings on the pages of your sheet music is all you need to do in order for the other musician to understand how you want to articulate your story.
In and of itself on the surface, music is not musical. And despite how contradictory or counterintuitive that statement might appear, music is as much technical as it is artistic. Yes, it is wise to adhere to the instructions the composer or arranger has assigned, yet, depending on the context of your ensemble’s performance, perhaps you might make alterations unanimously because you all feel the composer’s choices were not suitable for you or you merely disagreed with them. But, this still doesn’t make the music musical. Music is not stationary, it is fluid and pliable, it ebbs and flows, so you must dig deep underneath the surface and discover the passion within yourself to truly embark on a journey with your audience.
Returning to performance, I cannot imagine something more rewarding than simply invoking emotion and inspiration within others. Music enlightens and illuminates the soul, and for this singer/violinist, I can’t imagine anything more inviting. Whether I’m playing an aria or singing one, music has always been such an inexplicably crucial part of my existence, and I believe I owe it to others, whether they have had little exposure before or are singing along with me, to share it. If anything, even when rehearsing and practicing get tough, every time I perform I am reminded how much euphoria the adrenaline of being up on that stage with the spotlight shining down upon me makes me happy, and thanks to that, no matter how many times I feel like giving up, I will never quit doing what I love.
