You know that feeling you get right before you enter a really important exam at school? Or maybe when you see the towering hill of a roller coaster you're about to ride at an amusement park; that feeling when your chest tightens, your breathing becomes a little more staggered and an air of paranoia sets in? It's called anxiety. Multiply that feeling by every minute in every hour of every day, and that's what it feels like to live with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD).
This "disorder", which I hate calling it because it's truly a mental health condition, comes in many different forms. Varying from minor, to moderate, to extreme, to severe and having many subset symptoms, hence the title "General." Some of the aspects individuals can be facing include: sleep disorders, OCD, depression, social anxieties, performance anxieties, extreme stubbornness and rigidity in their thought processes, negative self image, eating disorders, paranoia, mood swings, nausea, shaking and convulsions, unsteady or rapid heart rates, uncontrollable sweating, migraines and much more. It's not always clear-cut that someone has this condition and it can take hours of testing and multiple specialists to receive a proper diagnosis; for me it took four years to find out I have severe GAD.
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Living with this condition day to day can be challenging, but it's not impossible.
1. We care too much
Those who suffer from GAD typically feel alone, no matter how many people may surround them. We constantly want to make sure that those around us are happy, and will put on a happy face to do so. When we tell people we are there for them or that they can reach out to us at any time, we truly mean that. I personally don't care if it's 4am: if one of my friends, or even just a class mate I've spoken to once, seriously needed me then I would be there.
2. We're apprehensive to trust people
Constantly having an air of paranoia in your life makes it incredibly hard to trust people; especially when you've been let down before. We know that secrets are safer when we just keep them to ourselves and that we are less likely to ruin relationships with people if we keep our condition as controlled and hidden as possible. So please do not be insulted if we become introverted or quiet when something is bothering us. It does not mean it is your fault, it just takes a lot of time and work to gain our trust.
3. We seek constant approval
A lot of individuals who have GAD carry the component of negative self image. Constantly viewing any work they put forward as below average, any part of them physically as undesirable and that their personality is too damaged to be wanted or loved. Although we may not ask for it, those suffering from any severity of GAD will benefit from hearing that their family members, friends and significant others love and appreciate them.
4. We push people away
Going off the idea that we are undesirable, we don't think we are worthy of people's love or time. When it comes to relationships, it is so easy to push people away. Whether it's because we think we don't deserve them, or our anxiety has taken over and the idea of trusting someone so completely has us terrified, or we are guarded to falling in love: who knows. Relationships take massive levels of patience and communication when one, or both members, is battling a mental health condition.
5. We aren't always good at vocalizing how we feel
The fear of not being understood, or being viewed as "crazy" or "dramatic" or "overly emotional" is all too real. It took me years to tell my closest friends about the dragons I was facing each day. When a panic attack hits, there is not always a reason. When we are feeling anxious, we don't always have an explanation. When we go into introverted moods and cancel plans or pull away from situations, please don't take it personally. Sometimes talking about it can lead to more anxiety.
If someone close to you is suffering from anxiety, whether GAD or not, let them know you care about them. It is a hard condition to understand, even those battling it don't always get it. Do your best to be there for them. Be kind, be open minded, be available to listen and never give up on them.
