Love, happiness, trust, self-esteem, openness--all can be lost through the crucible of a bad childhood.
Whether it was through negligence, loneliness, divorce, frequent moving, loss or another plight, overcoming negative youthful experiences is one of the most difficult and paramount steps that one must take in order to live the rest of their lives wholesomely.
In this article, I hope to give some personal insight into how one can transcend such trauma, and live the rest of their lives unencumbered.1. Realize that if you don't let go of the past, it won't let go of you.
This one is quintessential, which is why it's listed first. While letting go of the past is a daunting task to say the least, one must release their chains before they can truly move forward. The key is to accept your suffering, and to know that your experience, while negative, can be a gateway to both wisdom and empathy.
2. You are not defined by others' failure to appreciate you.
If you think badly of yourself because others have decided to, then you are allowing them to win. Instead, use their negativity as a driving force to accomplish your dreams.
3. Accept the emotions you feel.
It's truly okay to be sad or frustrated. No good outcome can come from hiding your emotions. By doing so, you are not only torturing yourself, but you risk taking them out on the people around you. It's even okay to feel a little bit of self-pity. Healing is a gradual process, and you can get there, one small step at a time.
4. Find an outlet.
Exercise, video games, nature walks, movies, reading, journaling, poetry, spending quality time with friends, chess, eating pepperoni pizza, working, complex bank heists, the list is endless. Find an activity that makes you happy, and go for it. Don't be afraid to try new things.
5. Know what's in your control, and what isn't.
You can't control if you have bad parents, or your peers' perception of you. All you can control is who you will be. Having incapable or toxic parents isn't an ultimatum for how you will parent in the future.
6. Forgive.
Similar to point number one, by holding onto grudges you are allowing them to hold onto you. Forgive those who hurt you and realize that some people will never change. All you can do--all any of us can do--is to do your best to live your life with grace through life's struggles.
And above all...
7. It'll be okay.
Quote of the Week: "And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh." -Friedrich Nietzsche
Song of the Week: "Polka Dots and Moonbeams," by Wes Montgomery
