The American home today looks totally different than it did 100, or even 50 years ago. The traditional two-parent family has become less common in our society and is now being substituted with co-parenting or single parent households. Millenials are growing up in alternative style households at a higher rate than any other generation in America's history.
More than half of all American children live in single parent or co-parent environments. What does these statistics do to the image that is portrayed about having healthy romantic relationships? What does that do for our ability to form strong bonds with the opposite sex? Watching our parents argue, hurt one another and ultimately separate, can (and has) leave an impressionable child with abandonment and commitment issues. I believe that this is why we as a generation struggle with relationships, particularly in regards to intimacy and communication.
Today we live in a world where "hook-ups" are entirely more common than healthy relationships. We casually engage in sexual relationships that lack true affection and, instead, are based on pleasure and physical attraction. This could be from not having an example of a successful relationship in one's life. If we have never seen a thriving relationship, how can we be expected to sustain one?
When I was a child, I saw my father with so many women; and I knew all of their names. They went in and out of the rotation, so I'd see them ever so often. My father told me never to be like the women he was involved with. This piece of advice left me particularly puzzled. I was confused because these were the type of women he chose. It taught me that men only want sex, and to this day, I'm still trying to break myself from this belief. I'm also starting to realize that my experiences growing up should urge me to give love more freely, instead of the opposite. However, it took many instances of misguided distrust for my partner to come to this conclusion. However, not everyone is so lucky to transcend the idea that sex is what is most important. Too many of us young people have witnessed similar situations growing up.
Communication is another major key in relationships that may have been sabotaged by our parents. Even after my mother and father were no longer together, they argued so often that my siblings wanted them far away from each other at all times. They had no clue how to properly express their feelings toward one another, whether it was because of anger or fear of being vulnerable. When children watch their parents spit verbal poison at one another, it teaches us that our words are weapons. Now, we are reluctant to share or verbalize what we think of one another because we saw what it did to our parents. Tell me, how is that fair? Not only is it unfair to ourselves, but to anyone we hope to be with.
No relationship is perfect, and bringing children into the picture just complicates things that much more. We know our parents were not perfect, and unfortunately, some of their mistakes may have had a lasting effect on our outlooks on love. However, regardless of what our parents went through, it is up to us to ensure that we do not cause damage and distrust with our partners. If not, we will continue the cycles the last generation passed to us.
