Life will wreck your plans, every time, and I'm not really sure that's a bad thing. I think it just puts into perspective how very little control we have on this planet, and that's humbling.
I'm learning a lot right now about letting go. Having little idea of what I'm going to do after college or down the road can feel really daunting at times, but it's also forcing me to hold my heart in the peace of certain truths I know.
Truth #1: Nothing you ever do, or don't do, can affect your value. I believe in God, and His promises and the rooting I've found in Him destroy all other theories of my worth. You might not believe that. Regardless, I hope you know you're priceless. If we claim to care for humanity, I believe we have to also acknowledge that nobody could possibly have any more value than anyone else. Let's not commodify ourselves. There is freedom in rejecting the notion that you have to be a certain person to be valuable.
Truth #2: There is beauty in faithfully walking into the unknown.
Truth #3: Life is scary, but we've made it through a lot of scary stuff so far, and we can do it again.
Truth #4: The world is a very broken place, and the longer I sit in inaction, the more I know we have to do something.
Truth #5: Boundaries are important. Although I am put on this earth to create further goodness and spread further light, I can't do it all. I have to learn to live within the tension of being human and being created to give of myself to the world. Sitting in the now with uncertainty of the future allows me time to consider the kind of boundaries I want to retain in order to protect my heart from the trying times that are sure to continue coming.
Truth #6: Although sometimes I feel like I'm stuck because I can't plan the future, I'm learning. Every single day. I'm constantly being grown, challenged, and opened. The idea that we can be "stuck"... is kind of a lie. Every moment, every event, every experience is important. We just have to remain open to being changed.
Truth #7: The unexpected does not have to be negative. Surprises, and even obstacles, do not have to be received with stress or anxiety. We never know what is coming— if we approach and receive the things that happen to us unexpectedly with hope and positivity, stress and anxiety have a much weaker grip. Grief is necessary, and disappointment is human; mental battles are not easily fought. But we can fight. And we can hope. And we can be positive even through immense amounts of pain.
Truth #8: Sometimes the days with no plan are the very best.