For the longest time, I felt like I had to compete with others. Maybe I shouldn’t say compete, but keep up. I wondered what my friends were doing on the weekend, if their social lives were more exciting than mine, or if everyone was hanging out without me. Let me tell you, all of this worrying about people can be absolutely exhausting. I think everyone in their young lives has these paranoid thoughts; in fact, it’s quite common. But for me, at times these thoughts were almost depilating and stopping me from being my most authentic self.
For a while I did things that I thought would make me happy: going to bars frequently, going out with friends, and never really having an opinion about what I wanted to do with my spare time. But as time went on, I realized I wasn’t as happy as I thought I should be.
Instead, I decided to focus on what truly made me joyful, even if it was small things such as having brunch with friends on the weekend or trying a new coffee shop. Don’t get me wrong, going out is still great. You have to be social when you have such a busy schedule, otherwise, you will go crazy. But one thing I wish I knew earlier on in life is that no one is a fly on a wall. If you don’t go out one night, who cares? If you want to stay in and watch Netflix and drink wine, by all means do it because it’s your life and no one should have an opinion about your life except you.
Even if it isn’t always the most popular belief, or if people view you differently for being unique for having your own thoughts, do what makes you happy because life is way too short to be anything else. I used to be afraid of others’ judgement -- of having an opinion about, well, anything to be honest. But it’s funny because I found once I started speaking up for myself and having a true voice, I not only was noticed by more people but more respected because of it. So, here are five things to consider so you don’t become a wallflower:
- Speak up! About anything, even if it is small. People like others who are passionate and have a mind of their own; a.k.a., you have a brain!
- Don’t be afraid of what others think because the only person that matters at the end of the day is you.
- Trust your gut. If you have weird vibes about going out or following the crowd, then trust yourself!
- So what if every one of your friends is going somewhere? If you don’t want to go, then don’t make yourself go.
- Be I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. There’s no one that is just like you! Be proud of your decisions and stand by them. Go places by yourself every once in a while because it’s fun! Put yourself out there, meet new friends, and do what you want to do because in the end the only one truly judging you is yourself.
