Death is never an easy thing to deal with. Although it is inevitable, it is not something people like to think about. For many people, death is their greatest fear. I used to be one of those people myself, however, after the death of my grandpa, I am no longer scared. My grandpa’s death taught me how to live my life to its full potential.

When it comes to grandparents, I lucked out. My grandpa was an amazing man. He lived a full life and gave my brother, cousins and me someone to look up to. Visits at the lake were always special; getting to sit around and listen to my grandparents tell stories of when they were younger, when my dad and his sisters were younger, and about how his family came over from Italy. We didn’t need storybooks when we went to grandpa's and grandma's; we had our own real life tales to listen to instead.

About two years ago my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer. It was something none of us had expected and took a while to fully grasp. He went through a round of chemo and it stayed at bay for another year. This winter it came back, causing him to need another round of treatment. At first, things were going well, I had talked to him on his birthday and he was full of spunk – especially when we talked about how the Minnesota Wild had beat the Chicago Blackhawks again. When I called a month later to wish my grandma a happy birthday she had mentioned he was under the weather but was sure he would bounce back in no time. Plans were made to go and visit them around Memorial Day.

Unfortunately we never go to make it up to the cabin to see him. Early in the day, we had found out he had gotten sicker and was going to be transported to the hospital. By evening we were all told to drive out to the hospital and be prepared to say goodbye, as they were not sure he would make it.

Seeing my grandpa, who was one of the strongest men I knew, look so small and fragile in his hospital bed broke my heart. When he finally regained consciousness, it was his words and essence in his final days that would stick with me forever. Although he knew his time was coming to an end, his spirit never wavered. He stayed the strong, feisty, Italian that we all knew and loved until he took his final breath. Even with a breathing tube down his throat, he had still found ways to make jokes and get the entire room laughing. He made sure to let us all know how loved we were.

However, it was his final request before he died that struck me to my core. When asked what his goal once he was out of the hospital, his response was “I just want to go fishing one last time”. In his final moments, he just wanted to spend time doing what he loved with the people he loved. He never did get to cast that one last reel.

After he passed away my first reaction was to be angry. I was mad that God would take such an amazing man away from us so soon. I was mad that he didn’t get to go fishing that one last time, that he never got to leave the hospital, that we wouldn’t get to spend another 4^th of July at our farm together. I spent a good chunk of time angry with the world. Eventually, I realized my anger would get me nowhere and it was not how my grandpa would want us to continue on. I went down and sat on their dock the day after he passed, thinking about everything we had talked about in his final days. My grandpa loved us all so much and all he ever wanted was to see his grandchildren succeed.

Although it didn’t happen right away, I slowly realized how much he would have wanted to see us live our lives to their fullest potential. I needed to start enjoying life, instead of dwelling in the past. My grandpa was one of my biggest advocates when it came to my struggles with mental illness. I was no longer going to let that support go to waste. My grandpa knew I would do great things in life. He believed in me even when I didn't. He lived his life in happiness, always surrounded people who loved him, and that was exactly how I decided to start living my life.

Time is something that is never guaranteed. More days need to be spent laughing, singing, telling jokes and being surrounded by loved ones. We need to remember to take the time to do the things we love so much. Go fishing when you get the chance, explore the world. Live a life that will give you endless stories to tell your grandchildren. There are no limits you can’t reach.

Until I see you again grandpa, I will be living a life that will make you proud. Love you always.