When I left my South Carolina small town for school three hours away I didn't just leave my family, my home, all my friends -- but I left an entire chapter of my life. Looking back on where I was a year ago, I am in shock. In all honestly, I guess I really don't seem that different, but I know that I am a totally new person. I can't exactly put my finger on what changed int me, but something did, and I think that something is pretty universal for everyone once they move away. It's the strangest thing, the concept of leaving the only place you know, parting ways, and moving away from what seems like everything to you.
When I got to school, I didn't know where to start. There was so much going on. This place moved a thousand miles a minute, something that felt so foreign to me. I remember on move in day seeing how beautiful all the girls were and suddenly feeling self-conscious and a sense of comparison. It seemed like everyone else instantly had their friend group and seemed like their world was all put together and there I was wondering what my next step was going to be. It didn't take long to feel comfortable here, but let me tell you, I would not have been able to do it alone.
I prayed for my time in a new city. I prayed for strength to bust out of my comfort zone. Friendships that were deep and not just surface level, but real and strong. I prayed for courage to stand up for what I believed in and not to conform into something phony. I spend so much time and effort running after Jesus, praying to become the girl that He planned for me to be.
The end of my freshman year is quickly coming to an end. A whirlwind of cramming for exams is ahead of me, goodbyes are approaching, and my dorm is near explosion of me tired of cleaning up after myself. I look into the mirror and notice something different in me. Yeah, I do have a tattoo and a middle part, but no, that's not it. I see something that I like. I use to look into the mirror and tell myself you have to do better or come on keep pushing, or just allow the thought of not being good enough bring me down. Now, when I look into the mirror I see me. I am so comfortable and happy with who I am. Of course, I am so far from perfect. I obviously have gained that freshman fifteen (people, it is real). I continue to make mistakes. I struggle with something each and everyday. But, I am confident in who I am and where I am and what I am doing.
I am a strong daughter of God. I am striving to live each day for the glorification of Him. I follow the steps that my Father lays out in front of me. He promises each and every one of us that He has a beautiful and perfect plan for us.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
When you reach the point of your life that you truly understand and trust that you are where you need to be, doing what you need to do, you will fully become the person who you were designed to be. Our Creator wasn't just playing with clay when He molded us together. He put forth much thought and design in order to shape us into each one of His beloved children. God is our silversmith. When silver is created, the silversmith placed silver into a hot fire and leaves it in there until the silver is ready. The cool part is the technique silversmith's use to be able to tell when the silver is perfectly formed. They take the silver out of the fire once they can see their reflection in the silver. You see, that's what I think God does too. He allows trials to take place in our lives so that we can be casts in His image.
I fully believe that who I am at the end of my freshman year of college from who I was at the beginning is just more of Christ in my heart. I have learned what the taste of freedom is like, and it's not the stereotypical do what you what when you want motive, but instead, doing what God has planned for you. College is most definitely the time to get on board with the mission God has planned for you. The time that you solely rely on Him to get you through each and everyday because let me tell you, you can’t do it alone. Of course it is great to have friends help you and support all that you do and your family members are only a call away, but living life with Jesus makes life so much greater. This also comes with maturity. Living on your own for the first time is easily the hardest transformation in your life, but it leads you to understanding that life isn't all about you. It is so comforting knowing that you are never alone, that someone is always by your side. That you Creator will wrap His holy arms around you in order to protect you. This is what life is about. This is a taste of freedom.
