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How My Childhood Bully Became My Best Friend

From threats as a child to being inseperable as adults, I love my childhood tormentor more than anyone.

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How My Childhood Bully Became My Best Friend
Nicole Wendel

There she stood: tall frame, athletic build, mousey brown hair and round-rimmed glasses. I never feared someone more in my life. She always had a smile on her face and a Mary Kate and Ashley book in hand. I thought to myself, "I like Mary Kate and Ashley. Maybe we can be friends." With my Oshkosh overalls, lace trimmed socks and 90's haircut, I took a deep breath and tapped her shoulder. This is the day that started years of bullying and gaining a best friend.

Growing up with a multitude of cousins was a blast at every family party — there was always someone to play with, but the little girl I wanted to play with most wanted nothing to do with me. She always had a little red head girl with her, who seemed to be the leader. They would laugh, skip, play, and be together all day long. They were like Mary Kate and Ashley themselves — always cute, always funny, always happy — always together. I wondered who they really were, other than just "Erica and Kelley." Being the youngest cousin made me looked down upon by the older cousins, and left out by the ones a few years older than me. I always hung out with the adults, and my Grandma would always encourage me to play with the two girls.

The first day I tried was at our family 4th of July party. We were all in the pool, and the two girls were playing Tea Party underwater. Not being a great swimmer, I was holding on to the edge of the pool. I mustered up the courage to doggy paddle across to them and asked "Hey! Whatcha guys doin'?" The red headed girl rolled her eyes at me and said, "Nicole. Go away. We don't want you to play with us." I doggy paddled back to the ladder, climbed out and proceeded to cry in my Mom's arms.

Five years later, the scenario was a little different. The little red-haired girl wasn't around as much at our Grandma's house, but the girl with the mousey brown hair was. She looked different, and she acted a whole lot nicer too. Erica was as cool as I wanted to be — flip phone, highlighted hair, jean skirt from Hollister and wore contacts. My 13-year-old awkward self couldn't be more jealous. That year we became closer than ever as our Grandmother was battling Breast Cancer. When we lost our Grandma, we both gained something else — a bond.

Today, at 21 and 27 years old, Erica and I are best friends. As for the little red-haired girl, we became closer too. She now lives in Vegas and is a mommy. Every day, Erica calls me. She tells me about her day, her work life, her love life,or to discuss with me what happened this week on Grey's Anatomy. My childhood bully is now my best friend and the sister I never had. I still tease her about the days she tormented me and how now she can't get away from me.

I'm thankful that all the years of bullying paid off. The years of having to dance at the same dance studio and be compared to her are over. The years of trying to play Mary Kate and Ashley computer games with her is over. Now, I look forward to the day we both get married and can be bridesmaids in each other's weddings. I look forward to the day she starts her own family. I look forward to having her by my side no matter what. The years of torment are over and my bully is now my bestie.


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