The first weekend back to college is one of the most exhilarating and exhausting weekends of the year. Arguably, one of the best weekends of my college career. As a Welcome Leader for my school, the first weekend back is traditionally packed full of moving new students into their residential halls, facilitating events for said students, and most importantly making friends and having fun with the people who love this job just as much as I do. I love being a Welcome Leader and student for my school because I am proud of the person I am and the institution that I love.
As sure as the sun rises and sets, life has its ups and downs. There is nothing you can do about it. Unfortunately, during this weekend that is arguably one of the best weekends in my college career, life had a bit of a down. With the weekend chalk full of events and obligations, this down was unprecedented and unwanted.
In short, a very distasteful picture was posted on Instagram regarding the female students who were moving in that morning. You’ve probably seen it before (because the nature of the post is unoriginal) and you probably have some of your own thoughts on the matter. A group of male college students posed around a huge banner hung out on the porch with the painted words “Freshman Daughter Drop-off” for any passerby to see.
Not even a full day later, an on-campus organization with the purpose of educating, reducing, and ultimately preventing gender and relationship violence very much amplified the severity of the situation. A righteous organization for a righteous cause, but at what cost?
This group of males merely thought of their banner as joke, as did a lot of people. With the intent of making a statement and an example of such a distasteful post, this organization shared the Instagram photo on their Facebook page with a simple caption of, and I’m paraphrasing here, “... clearly we have more work to do.” This organization’s post brought even more attention to the photo along with over a thousand shares and hundreds of comments of discussion varying in degree.
All of this commotion, all of this in-fighting amongst students and local residents, all over a joke.
Are these male college students in the wrong? I personally think so. It is a very distasteful photo. This is a banner with the connotation of rape culture surrounded by college aged males. What else am I supposed to think?
Another more relevant, more serious question is, “Is the organization that remarked the photo in the right?” I certainly don’t think so. They took this photo, made a snide comment about it and posted it for the world to see. That does not automatically put them in the right. They brought more attention to the situation and the two parties (the group of males and the organization) in question. When in all reality, this could have been avoided, maybe resolved, entirely if it was decided to be handled behind closed doors.
But the most important question of all: "Who is in the right?"
Nobody. Neither party.
Everybody is trying to save face all at the same time when it can’t be done.
There are tons of people wanting to protect this group of males’ and come to their rescue. “You don’t know them!” “Don’t you know how to take a joke?” “Grow up.” Easy words to spit from behind a keyboard. Trust me, I recognize the irony.
There are just as many people wanting to help this organization save face. “This ‘joke’ is disgusting.” “It only perpetuates rape culture.” “They are very upset over the incredibly disrespectful picture.” There are plenty of people who believe in the organization, their mission and their reasoning behind their action regarding the photo, but must they put the situation on full blast?
The bottom line is this: both parties are in the wrong.
To start off, the banner is very much a joke. An amazingly distasteful joke, but a joke nevertheless. There is a strong correlation between the banner and rape culture, whether some people decide to acknowledge it or not. Exactly how many of those guys are legitimately going to ask a parent, “Can I forcibly have sex with your daughter?” None of them. There are plenty of people that believe those guys with the banner are genuine people. And the “glass half full” kind of guy in me says that they are.
Something everybody should also think about is the amount of exposure this situation is getting. Without the organization taking notice and putting the photo on full blast, this situation would not be getting out of hand. There are debates that are spiraling out of control and ultimately ending in the elementary style bickering of “Talk to me when you know how to spell.” and “Why don’t you go get a job and do something with your life?” Although the photo is distasteful and is what this organization is against, bringing a negative spotlight to the situation was uncalled for. Not only did it put this group of males in some bad light, but also brought the attention to the school. In result, the President of my school was forced to issue a statement.
With the looming thought of severe discipline, sullied reputation and school starting all at once, there is only one question left to ask: "How much of a joke is rape to you?" Do you think of rape as an arbitrary act in your life and make a joke of it? Or do you stand against rape and stamp out even the slightest presence?
