How much have I loved today?

This is a question my mother taught me to ask myself every night as I get ready for bed. As I lay in bed I ask myself how many times I could’ve loved when I didn’t and how many times I did when it was hard to.

What is love exactly? What does it mean to love?

Love is not a feeling. It’s not infatuation. It isn’t the giddiness you feel in your stomach when you see the boy or girl you have a crush on. It isn’t just being nice and putting up a front to those you don’t like. Love is a choice. It is the decision we make in the depths of our hearts to wish the best for those even when we want to wish the worst. It’s praying for those that harm us. It isn’t being nice, but it’s being kind to everyone around us. It’s standing up to evil even when you are the minority. It’s learning to forgive those that we don’t think deserve our forgiveness. It’s giving up our pride and listening to those with a different opinion and accepting that we might be wrong. Love is infectious. The more we love, the more we inspire others to love. From the words of the amazing Martin Luther King Jr. himself, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Loving isn’t always easy. Loving your neighbor as yourself is difficult, but loving yourself can be just as challenging, especially when you get into a habit of feeding into and believing the unkind things we tell ourselves that drive us to hate how God made us. When I ask myself, “How much have I loved today?,” that question almost always includes a reflection of how I have loved myself that day. Sometimes we’re so preoccupied with caring for others that we forget we deserve love as well. How many times did I put myself down today? How many times did I do something that I could’ve avoided that was unhealthy? How many times did I look at myself and think that I wasn’t beautiful or worth respect? How many times did I forget that I am a temple of the Holy Spirit and a child of God made in his image and likeness?

Let us never forget to love, my friends. It is the one thing that holds humanity together through all of the horrifying things that are happening in the world right now. Challenge yourself to love. Love when it’s hard. Love when you don’t want to. Love even if you think it will do nothing. Love, and by love I mean true, pure, and unconditional love, is so powerful and we must love ourselves and others the way God loves us. His love runs so deep. Cling to it with me and let it transform the hearts of all those struggling to love the way they are supposed to, and let it strengthen the love of those that wish to be better.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” - 1 John 4:7