When I finished my first semester at Buffalo State College, the last thing I expected to be doing was spending my Tuesdays and Thursdays at a meditation center. Once I finally returned home from my first semester in college, I was encouraged by two friends to visit the Brooklyn Zen Center, located in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn. At first, I was skeptical of even doing meditation. The first thing that came to mind when I thought of meditation were Buddhist monks sitting in the same place for hours, and humming the same tune repeatedly.I didn't think I would have the patience for that type of commitment. I didn't know then, that meditation would change my life completely.
So one day, I made the decision to join my friends. My first impression of the Brooklyn Zen Center was that it had everything a place needed to make a person feel at home. There was a couch where you could lay your head and rest, and even a section where you could pick between which herbal teas to brew. Above all, I was surprised with the openness that was encouraged at the center. Before we began the meditation practice, peer leaders at the center asked us how our week went and the emotions that came up in our everyday lives. People began sharing their stories and eventually I was compelled to share my own. It was refreshing to talk about my problems in a space where I wouldn't be judged.
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We were finally invited into the room to meditate and there were cushions placed everywhere for people to sit and meditate in their own space. My friend that invited me to the center came over, and showed me the postures I could choose from while in my practice. Finally, one of the peer leaders rung the bell and we instructed to begin meditating. My first experience with meditation actually wasn't too great. I was very restless during my sit and it was very hard for me to stay still for the next twenty minutes. Also, all of the emotions that I chose to suppress for the past few months decided to pop up in my head at this exact moment, which was pretty annoying. Even though my first time wasn't that good I decided to go to the center again.
My second time I was told by one of the peer leaders that meditation isn't supposed to be one definitive experience. Hearing that helped me to open up and not have too much expectations on what I thought the experience was supposed to be. My next few times meditating began to help me deal with my anxiety and stress that came up when I thought about my future. The deep breaths during the practice and having a general openness and acceptance of how I feel made me come to terms with the things I felt uncomfortable with. The more I continued to go to the Brooklyn Zen Center the more I began to feel at peace with the things that I didn't really like about myself. In a society where we're taught to hide those emotions that are deemed undesirable I was in a space where I was encouraged to talk about how I feel and come to terms with the things that I felt I couldn't accept.
Eventually, Meditation transformed my perspective on how I deal with problems in my life. Before meditation I was consistently anxious about my future and the decisions that I made in my life so far. I felt a lot of inner turmoil and always wanted to find a way to deal with the self doubt I had within myself. The weekly meditation sessions helped me realize there were emotions I was running from. These feelings didn't go away completely , but meditation allowed me to accept them and give them the space to leave. Overall, meditation changed my outlook on my life. I've learned to deal with situations as they come, instead of worrying about a future that hasn't even come yet. At the Brooklyn Zen Center, there's a saying, "The future is just a collection of thoughts." Meditation changed my life. Now, I'm not saying I'm one hundred percent stress free a lot of the worry has been erase from my life and I have meditation to thank for that.
