Despite being on disability I have worked several jobs in my life. And, maybe I am an idealist when it comes to working, or a control freak of some sort. But, one thing is for sure you can’t just stick me in a cubicle and say do this and do that. Much as my family might think it should be that simple when you ask some of them. I’m just not built like that.

Most jobs I have had I wouldn’t go back to now, not because I am above them, but because of the atmosphere around them. I would go back to bouncing since that still has most of the same air around it though would have to rebuilt my network. But, the feel is still there around there. It was the one job I didn’t want to give up but was forced to cause of my epilepsy.

With every job, including bouncing, I started them having a sense of friendliness and openness and that makes the job go smoothly. There is a laid-back air in the environment with them even with the structures we had to follow and there were rules to follow of course. But, it was the ability to communicate on all levels of the job and give input that was taken into account and heard that made the jobs work. And, some jobs were nice as well for some of the rules we broke willingly.

Inevitably things would get to stringent and too corporate. Or, I would feel burned out and need to sit back and not work as much and the boss was just like, "No..." For me, mentally, when someone puts me between a rock and a hard place they are not going to get the desired result. Some bosses have figured out to work best with me, but they always ended up leaving for various reasons. They were the ones who said please and thank you and apologized when they did the wrong thing or pushed too hard. They also were willing to explain themselves to me and sit and talk things out after shift for a while.

I haven’t worked a ton of jobs so I should be able to go over them with you. We’ll start at the beginning when I was a deep fry cook at a race track. I'm not naming names so that their reputation is kept intact since it is my opinion. I started out there at sixteen and had a crash course in how to deep fry French fries, onion rings, and chicken nuggets. That was what I would be cooking in my area of the race track after all. I worked with mostly women and we got along well, especially since in general I get along better with women than men. There were times usually during intermission when it would get a bit stressful and adrenaline would run high. We got through it though and talked things out if need be after. The owner would pop his head in and suggest what he would bring in for me and if he was wrong I would tell him he was wrong and explain why. He’d follow my logic and usually go with what I said, or we’d agree on another course of action.

It went smoothly for the most part for a good three years. Nice family atmosphere. Customers getting their money’s worth and the business making a good profit. At least as far as I can tell since the family that owned it lived pretty well from what was shown to us. Then, one brother bought out the other. So suddenly I have a whole new crew. Nothing wrong with that part I got along well with them. Then, instead of just writing out hours down like we had been trusted to do for so many years there is a punch clock, the prices are going way up. Plus, now I had to count every little thing out before serving it. I mean there had to be a certain number of fries and rings and nuggets per container. Everyone’s meal had to be documented per person as to what they ate. No more group meals which had saved the company money, as business like, considering that they never increased breaks or anything like that. The owner never came by. It was like being cast off and made to feel like I didn’t matter anymore other than turning out as much profit as possible. So, to be fair to my crew who I liked I trained my replacement and moved on.

Now mind you after my first summer at the race track I was pushed into working at a grocery store while going to school. I rebelled on that one and left the school I was in and job as well. That is one that was more about transportation in the end and about how I felt about going to school and studying at the same time in those days. Working into be comfortable fully with studying and working at the same time as we speak mind you presently. Plus, when you crush a friend’s mother’s bread, it is kind of embarrassing to have them tell you about it the next day in school. Grocery store work wasn’t too bad though a little fast paced for me at times. I don’t like a timer working against me when I am interacting with customers. I prefer to know I am getting the job done right for them and not hurrying and potentially doing something wrong.

I’ve had one stint in fast food and not too interested in going back. It was fine when it was owned by a family that trusted their assistant manager who was good and yet not uptight for lack of a better way to explain it in one word. The store manager would leave just before dinner rush and we would all put on headsets and float throughout the restaurant doing whatever we did best. Meanwhile out of the break room is blaring Insane Clown Posse keeping us relaxed and no one ever complained that came in. We’d take breaks as we needed and we were given our dinner free if we ate the restaurant’s food and didn’t order take out.

Then they sell the place and the first thing is the assistant manager is told he is just a manager until he proves himself. As if he hadn’t done that to get to where he is. That irked me and no one spoke up for him, not even me, I am ashamed to say. He quit, but fast food is always happy to replace anyone like they don’t matter. Things changed a bit and got more uniform and stressful. Again, I hate timers and they put one in and made the kitchen have to give preference to drive thru orders as they came in instead of taking the orders as they came up. I was working 50-60 hours a week there and another 10 at another job that I enjoyed even after leaving the race track. I barely got to see my girlfriend, as a man who hasn’t even reached 19 yet, mind you. So, I went to the boss and said I needed my weekends back, which would have brought me down to 40 hours a week. He refused and so I handed in my uniforms and quit on the spot. For me it was just the final straw. I was tired of working so much and being short staffed with only 3 people on all weekend at any given time and the store manager refusing to work weekends when we needed it. On top of all the other stress inducing changes when we were a good store to begin with.

That left me bouncing at a pizza parlor that I had been doing since I was 18. I got off to a rough start, but I enjoyed it. Not because it was a rough and tumble job either. It was usually mostly quiet to be honest. I liked interacting with the customers and helping out. I do admit, it was nice to be able to throw someone out when necessary. It also had the fraternity feel to it with how all the bouncers are a brotherhood down there. I didn’t leave it by choice I was retired from it because of my epilepsy. Most of the guys I knew down there are gone now, but I keep in contact as best as I can. I should try to do better and probably would by email than I do through social media.

That left me jobless while waiting on disability until I was offered limited hours at a convenience store. First it was just putting together papers for them and then some register work. I left when my disability came through because the week before it came through I had had a seizure maybe two hours before shift. I still made the shift, but I was sore and couldn’t do as good a job as they deserved. The atmosphere stayed the same as it has been when I worked there for a while but it isn’t that way today so I am not sure I would go back there though I might. At the time I left, I had come to terms with the fact that I needed to take time to heal and get my issues under control.

Today I am well enough to be going to college and doing a little work. I still have some issues with needing to be heard and feeling like I am heard and talking to people about things and when I feel I am not I go to someone who I feel hears me and talk to them. I don’t play office politics at all never have and never will and I get my work done as fast as I can. I will probably never be able to work a regular job like society expects me to. I'm just not wired that way.

People say I am a good listener and part of that is because I know if I want to be listened to and I know it feels important to me to be listened to then giving others that same respect is just as important. Though, I do have issues with when a question or though pops into my head blurting it out at times. Plus, listening and trying to help comes with having a big heart I am told. Anytime I start a new job and get to talking to my co-workers and learning about them I come to care about them a lot. Some people can go through a whole career not getting attached to co-workers and colleagues. That isn’t me.

I admit I am complicated and sometimes a pain in the butt, though not impossible to work with. I’m not perfect and I have my slumps. My brain tends to wander and my sleep pattern is all over the place, but once I get going and firing on something just step back and let me go. You won’t find a harder worker once the gears start turning. Even when I am not working on something, I am the one you will find giving pep-talks and helping those with questions and giving inspiration. I am more than just a job title. I don’t define myself as just a job title in any job I do. I define myself always as a team member trying to help the whole team do well overall even if my brain is faltering. I will always try to give my best to whatever I do though admittedly I am sometimes not the timeliest. *Tips his hat and walks out the door*.