The world has always been split between two types of people, the people that are single and the ones in relationships. And there’s always been bad blood between the two. Those in a relationship want to be single. Those that are single want to be in a relationship. Some people in relationships even look down on the single, which I know from personal experience, makes the single feel bad about themselves. But the question is: how long is too long to be single?

I have been single for a long time and for a while I was worried about it. I spent many weekends alone because not just my best friend, but all of my friends had plans with their significant other. I watched as my friends went though a few relationships in the same time frame that I hadn’t been in any. At the time, I thought it was weird that I wasn’t dating or in a relationship. I thought there was something wrong with me and spent my time constantly on the prowl for a boyfriend.

However, I have recently come to terms with the fact that I have not been in a relationship in a long time and I may not be in one anytime soon. In the past year I have really been working on myself. That sounds very cliché, but if you’re in the same boat as me you’ll know what I’m talking about. I have seen some of my friends go through terrible, unhealthy relationships, which caused me to be more cautious about the people I let into my life. I don’t need a boyfriend.

So to answer the question, there is no time limit. You can be single for as long as you’d like, as long as is comfortable for you. Your love life does not have an expiration date. Some people even stay single their whole lives and are very happy.

The important thing is to focus on your own needs. I know every twenty-something has heard the phrase, “These are your selfish years,” so be selfish. Choose yourself over others. Chose your education over helping someone else get through theirs. Choose your career over waiting around for someone to support you with theirs. Focus on your own well-being because if you don’t now you most likely will get into the habit of ignoring your own needs.

But most importantly, if you find someone who really makes you happy it would be very un-selfish to pass that up. I know personally not too many people come my way that I want to spend an excessive amount of time with, so if you find that person hold on tight.

And don’t worry, that person will come along when the time is right. I feel it is most common for people to find ‘their person’ while they are also trying to find themselves.