Out of the 20 most watched television events in US history, 19 are Super Bowls, with the three most recent holding the top three spots. In 2016, the top 10 consisted of sporting events, presidential debates, nomination acceptance speeches and the Academy Awards. From 1957 until 1999, the most watched TV show in America every year was a drama or comedy. 1999 saw "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" take the spot, followed by "Survivor" in 2000, "American Idol" reigned from 2003-2011, and a three-year-and-still-running rule by "Sunday Night Football."

We’ve always loved competition as a culture. It’s one of the core tenets held up as the foundation of American idealism – rise up, overcome, achieve greatness. It’s the "Rocky" story. This trend has only gotten stronger in the past two decades. Though football certainly seems to be our nation’s outlet of choice, we also like watching competitions of trivia knowledge, political ability, survival skills and artistic success, as evidenced by the above ratings. It is ingrained in us as Americans to compete, to compare ourselves to those around us and to strive to match or, more often, surpass what they have done.

Our obsession with competition perpetuates an unhealthy mindset that value is derived from where you rank, not what you do. This isn’t news. I hope I’m not blowing anyone’s mind here by claiming that our society is an intrinsically competitive one. But I do think it’s more cultural and less innate than people say. And if we acknowledge that, it could help address the problem.

I have a tendency to internalize a lot of stress. Lots of people have no problem being vocal about everything that’s going on in their lives, but I do. And I know I’m not the only one. Part of the reason I internalize so much is a subconscious belief that my problems are not significant enough to warrant outward acknowledgment. In other words, someone else is having a worse day so I shouldn’t be griping about mine. While I am pulling from my personal experience here, I do think this idea, which I’m going to call emotional self-invalidation, is widespread one in our culture, and not the least because of our tendency to compare.

Celebrity culture plays a role in this as well. Spotlights shine on people for two reasons: to glorify or to condemn. The dentist office magazine industry thrives by showing off people we’re either supposed to aspire to be like or to not be like at all. Celebration and scandal go hand in hand.

This is incredibly harmful. It is dangerous to give in to a culture that tells you your worth is based on a series of comparisons. To define your value on someone else’s scale is to continue invalidating your own experience and to ignore the parts of yourself that can’t be ranked on a societal ladder.

I think the real problem is that we as a country, and world, suffer from analytical farsightedness. We have grown so critical in how we view ourselves and others that we forget to celebrate our accomplishments. No good comes from extracting a self-image out of how you rank, nor from defining your values based on a constantly changing external metric. Embrace your challenges head on and don’t spend so much time worrying how you compare to others.

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