I would've been the biggest hypocrite to have sat here a few months ago and tell you to enjoy being single because I'm pretty sure nobody wants to be told that they should enjoy being single (some people find it insulting, ya know?). As I've basically been in long term committed relationships since the tenth grade, here I am today, as single as I've never been, and believe it or not (I wouldn't believe me if I told me a few months ago) I've come to be totally okay, accepting, and appreciative of this new found freedom.
For starters, one of the biggest reality checks I've gotten from this is that, for the first time in my life, I'm okay with being alone. I'm okay with doing things by myself and being on my own (which really doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is for me). I partially chalk this up to having a boyfriend since I was 15, mixed with the fact that I have a twin sister (which means I've never really had to do anything on my own my entire life if I chose to). Both of these have made it incredibly difficult for me to be okay with being alone for extended periods of time, or hard to do a lot of things by myself. But, now I've learned that doing things by myself is okay; it's even important for my well-being and functioning as a person. I've learned that I can do things by myself, that I even want to sometimes, and I have the ability to see that there's a difference there. I can say I like to be able to do things on my own, but I also like to be with people more than I don't and that's okay. There's nothing like being surrounded by good company, but knowing the difference is important.
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Another huge thing I think people forget about while they're in a relationship is doing things for themselves. I used to ask my boyfriend what he thought about the clothes I was wearing, or what he thought about my makeup or if I was going to do something with my hair, I always felt like I wanted the go ahead. I thought if I had his approval, that if I looked good, then I could feel satisfied with the way I looked. HOW DUMB. If one of my friends told me they did this (mind you, appreciating what your significant other thinks of you is important to an extent) I would tell them all that matters is that they feel good about themselves and that they shouldn't value someone else's opinion more than their own. I dress for me, and I do my makeup for me because these things make me feel good. I even cut off a significant amount of hair recently and I'm rocking a 60's style Twiggy-inspired pixie cut right now, and the combination of doing it for me and loving it has made me feel more like me than ever.
Something that I feel people take a long time to learn, an especially hard lesson to learn while being in a relationship, is that being comfortable is not the same thing as being happy. It's easy to stay in a relationship for three years because, well, you've been in that relationship for three years. It's the life you've made for yourself that you've been living for a while, and it's easy to be comfortable with that, but that doesn't always mean that it's necessarily good or that you're happy, and it's easy to mistake those for being comfortable.
The last big thing that I can say is that you never have to compromise who you are and what you believe in because someone doesn't understand it. Yes, compromise is important in a relationship, but you should never feel like you can't be 100% yourself because someone doesn't like it or agree with it.
The last, perhaps most insignificant, but also a huge deal for me and perhaps anyone else in college, being single means you don't have to share your tiny ass extra long twin bed in your apartment with anyone. That means you don't have to wake up sweaty and annoyed that even though you want to sleep next to this person, it becomes incredibly infuriating when you can't find a comfortable position or have good nights sleep.
Let's not forget to mention a few others like going a few days longer between shaving your armpits, not having to listen to someone rant about video games for 45 minutes when you really don't care about video games, and kissing whoever the heck you want whenever the heck you want.
Embrace the life you're living right now, everything will fall into place, eventually.
