There will come a point in our lives when we'll want to find closure, whether it's with an ex, a friendship, or any relationship that breaks off. There’s a constant battle with your head and your heart whether or not to bring up the elephant in the room.
Closure can be defined as, "an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality". It's supposed to be a peace of mind that allows us to move on. It can be the defining moment that faces the truth or a wake up call to stop beating a dead horse. It can be ugly and it can hurt but it's what we want. For the people who long for closure, they are the ones that are going to get hurt, not you. They think they're not good enough, run scenarios in their head, not to mention all the “what ifs"; a person can drive themselves crazy.
A lot of times we find ourselves at this crossroad of letting go or wanting closure. One direction isn't wrong and one direction isn't right, they both have the same destination and that is to finally to move on. Move on from the past and don’t look back. But it's always easier said then done.
I've been in this situation more than once, and it never gets easier. I struggle with myself either to give in and ask the person what went wrong or just let it be. I've asked myself if I actually need closure, or is it just an idea fabricated in our heads we think is the solution to our problem.
Closure takes time. There isn't a set timeline for when you'll receive it, or if you ever will. You aren't in control of both parties, but you are in control of yourself. You ultimately decide what actions you'll take to make it better. Asking the other person for closure makes you feel stuck, like you can't move on until they tell you to. Don't put yourself through that. Who cares what the other person is doing, they decided to cut you out of their life so you can do the same. You have the power to pick yourself up and start a new beginning.
Soon enough, days become weeks, and weeks become months, and you see that you’re stronger than you think. You realize that the person isn’t worth your stress because you've moved on. Believe it or not you no longer think of what that person did, you have simply let it go.
The closure we think we want and the closure we need are two different things. You don't need to put yourself through agony and wait for the person to come around. What you really need comes from within, and that is strength. The time will come when you have accepted the terms whatever they may be, that is closure. You will have regained your happiness that was once tainted. You might not see it now but you'll realize that the best closure you can get, is one with yourself.
