Imagine you're at the beach. You walk to the shore — you're admiring the water. You begin to wade in, and you feel at peace. You go in further. Then out of nowhere, a huge wave crashes over your head, and you go under. You begin to panic and once you hit the surface, you're ready to get out and go home. You're traumatized.
That's what we feel like every single day.
We constantly get told, “You have so many reasons to be happy." Do you think we don't know that? We want to be happy. The key point here is, WE CAN'T. We don't know how. How are we supposed to get better if we don't even know why we're sad?
We fight every day for normalcy. What does it feel like to go one day without feeling pain?
We struggle to get out of bed every day. We make ourselves shower because we don't even have the energy to do that. We put a fake smile on our face and hope someone loves us enough to reach out.
We drown. Point blank.
We can't explain to you how we feel because we really have no idea. We don't know how to fix it. Can we? We feel like the world would be better off without us in it. We feel like nobody cares. We're replaceable. We're worthless. We feel like we don't deserve love because who could love me when I don't even love myself?
Some make it out alive after fighting this battle. Others don't.
All we really want is support. We want you to know that we're trying. We hope every day that you notice the signs and save us when we can't save ourselves.
It isn't we don't want to live our life anymore — it's that we don't know how.
