FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is one aspect of life that never to me has completely gone away in society or in my personal life. However, I have become a guru of sorts to surviving this feeling and moving on to greener pastures quicker. It all began when I was born. You could pretty much coin me as the Queen of the Nerds. Honestly, I probably wasn't even popular enough to be considered Queen, more like Lady of Nerdville. I was President of NHS, nearly President of Drama Club (possibly still bitter about that one), in elementary school I couldn't make a lot of girl friends because I didn't know how to climb the monkey bars, in fifth grade I was friends with someone who pulled their eyelashes out in class because that's normal...right? I was left at lunch tables in middle school, and my high school sweet heart wore camo overalls to school with pride and not during spirit week (T-dawg if you're reading this, I'm glad we grew through that, congrats on your engagement. I feel like that fashion change played a pivotal role in your love life.). To say the least, homegirl did not get invited to all the parties. Then, itty bitty baby Olivia was left with the questions, "Do I have any real friends if I don't get the invites? If I don't hang out with this group of people am I socially inept? ...Do I smell or something?"
I know what you're wondering, "Well sis, where is the..."
You ask and you shall receive:
Step 1: If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
To me, I think this was the hardest lesson to learn. After this, you're on the downward climb! Basically, if you want to party, BE THE PARTY! It's not always as easy as just waiting for an invite, but my Mama has always told me, "Out of sight is out of mind. It's not that people are trying to be rude, they just don't know you want to because you're not around!" There is no shame in being the host, in fact I think it adds an entire new exciting side to an event!
Remember, the Socials are the Highlight Reel.
98% of the time, I'm just chilling with my dog and eating a pint of ice cream or chips (whatever is closer) while watching Netflix. Most people are probably doing the same thing too, and if they really are 20 years old double-majoring while globe-trotting the world while super active in philanthropy in Beta Apple Pie, it's LIES. Ladies and gents, those are people who are just masters at organizing content.
Being "Besties" with Literally Everyone is Unnecessary and Unhealthy.
You've seen those people where everyone is their "best friend," "soul sister," or their "ride or die?" It doesn't make a person cool, it just makes me question someone's judgement about what a real best friend is. Sure they're a friend, but are all of the "besties" going to show up in crunch time? Just because someone doesn't have a highlight on Insta with 25 people's happy birthday mementos attached (or those people don't do one for you...), doesn't mean the mark of a failure in making true, long lasting friendships.
Timing is Everything.
One point I know is that there will always be another event, classes, people to get to know, places to see and explore, and seasons to walk through in this life. The real question is, is this the season you want to put yourself in? Would you rather force yourself to go out with people you're unsure about, doing something you only feel semi-comfortable with, when you only feel semi-yourself? To me, that only seems like a semi-good time. And who has time for that??? The most fun and the most special people come around when you're not looking for them.
Finally, Relax!
Just to reiterate, there are so many seasons of life to walk through with many different participatory activities. In other words, it ain't that deep. Go out when you want, coordinate plans when you want, be the person who you want, but don't feel obligated to do (or not do) anything to keep up with perceived social standards. Burnout and regret are two negatives you don't want to look back on and see that one or both damaged your future, so live the life you imagined and do you boo boo!
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