When I was 4 years old, I suffered an eye injury. While remolding a bathroom in our home, I was using a wood chisel and it slipped as I tugged upwards on some paint and the corner of the chisel went straight into my eye. It was a full globe puncture, meaning it went at least halfway through, and in my case almost completely to the back of my eye. Since then I have had 6 surgeries and countless exams with an array of eye specialist.
In recent days prior to the event, my father had just sharpened the chisel. This made the blade much sharper. Normally when hearing that you would think that it would have made my injury worse; However, it did not. The newly sharpened blade meant that the blade was smooth and it created a clean cut. If it hadn't been sharpened then it could have really destroyed my eye. The clean cut made it easily repairable and easier to heal as well.
After I injured my eye my father was the one that called 911. He told the operator that he didn’t want to wait for the ambulance to arrive so he told them to have the ambulance meet us at the fire station in my hometown which was about 4 minutes away. When we arrived, we came to find that the fire and rescue EMT had gotten back to the fire station literally seconds before we pulled in, and it was his day off but he happened to be working an extra shift that day.
Later in the evening we arrived at OHSU in Portland, Oregon. There, the doctor I would have for another ten years after my injury, rushed me into emergency surgery to clean up blood, examine the damage and suture the wound. Afterwards he was discussing everything with my parents and there he told them that I was lucky to have hurt my eye when I did. Sounds crazy, right? First was that at 4 years old, my body can heal quickly. Secondly, I was young enough to not retain much memory of the incident, including pain. Lastly, if I would have stabbed my eye even 6 months prior to when I did, I would have no sight, or even worse no eye, due to the fact new technology and medical procedures had been developed in that time.
As I grew up, I began to beat myself down because there were some things that my eye held me back from doing. On top of that I hated being different. It didn't help that I would get made fun of for it as kid being called names and even up to now, I've still been called vicious names like "ogre". I hate to admit that it did tear me down.
So where does my story of gratitude fit into all of this?
There have been many times when I have cried to mother out of hopelessness. I was tired of doctors' visits, I was tired of the eye pain, I was tired of the struggle to see anytime I would do things. I had been doing this since I could remember. I was just tired and done. But, my mom would always tell me "At least you don't have a glass eye". As I got older, and more mature, when she would say that to me in times of hopelessness, I was able to look at my situation with my eye and understand how I was so fortunate to be where I am today. When I began to do this on my own when I was feeling disheartened, I noticed the biggest change in myself, and in my happiness in life. I had found that feeling of gratitude. I could see good in this bad thing that happened and have appreciation for that good.
My injury could have been worse. I began to think of everything I was lucky to have happen and started being thankful for all those things. I could have cut my face leaving a big scar across it, but it only went into my eye. The blade was sharpened saving my eye from being completely mutilated. The fire and rescue EMT just so happened to be at the fire station the day I hurt my eye when he wasn't supposed to be and I got immediate care. My eye doctor saved my eye. I hurt my eye at a young enough age to heal quickly and forget the pain. I hurt my eye just in time for new technology and medical procedures to be made so that the doctor had the ability to do so. And beyond the day I hurt my eye, there are more things I am thankful for. I did gymnastics for many years including competing despite being legally blind in that eye. I got my driver's license the day I turned 16 despite the vision impairment. And now today, 6 surgeries, many eye specialists later, and with new contact lens technology, my vision in that eye went from legally blind (20/200) to having a vision of 20/40 with a corrective lens, and that was the best thing. I have endless appreciation for all these things.
What I'm trying to express is finding gratitude in bad situations can change how you feel when you all you feel is down. Choosing to find good in the bad is the best thing you can do for yourself. Whether it's an injury like mine, an illness, that job you didn't get, a heart break, or even death, choosing to look these things from another perspective will help you understand that these bad things, while they may be terrible in that moment, can still have some joy found within and you can bring yourself happiness even in bad situations. Instead of letting the anger, the sadness, the disappointment, or whatever feeling it is that you get in a bad situation overwhelm you, find good, show appreciation, and you joy will come to you.
