This summer I attended a Christian Athlete camp that changed the way I worship God through sport. The camp taught me all kinds of truths about value, pride, idolatry, and how to go about representing a warrior of Christ through your sport in the best way possible. I left feeling equipped and ready to apply all of the wonderful principles that I had learned to my everyday life as a student athlete back at Lindenwood University where I play Division II field hockey. As a sophomore this year, I came back knowing the amount of effort it takes to land a starting spot, I worked/work every day to put in that effort hoping the coaches will see my improvements.

Let's just say this year has not quite gone as planned.

I came in fearing the return of my previous stress reaction and shin splint injury and was treated to something more from the Lord. On the last day of preseason, while going in for strong tackle I pulled my groin bad enough to sit me out for a week and weaken my play for about two weeks. Feeling weaker than ever, I was determined to get back on the field and play the game I loved while proving to my coaches that I had the strength all while glorifying God. Just when I thought I was injury-free, I developed piriformis syndrome, which is the tightening of the piriformis muscle to the point that they compress the sciatic nerve, causing a debilitating pain down the back of the leg. Walking without severe pain became impossible for me. I could not accelerate, or change directions, or sprint, all crucial skills for the game of field hockey.

With all of this happening right after one another I can not help but to think, Why me? The overwhelming frustration and constant disappointment from my own body caused me to turn away from the God that I had once felt so close to at the beginning of the summer.

I had learned so much about how to glorify God through sport and to never have too much pride and always play with the knowledge that every opponent is also a child of God, but how do I keep God in my sport when I am sitting on the sideline? My problem is not having too much pride but rather not ever having enough confidence in my own strength and skills because I have been pushed down so many times. My problem is not that I am too competitive on the field causing ungodly play against opponent, my issue is that I feel as if I am wasting away on the sideline, feeling nothing inside. I know that just because I am on the sideline doesn’t mean that the Lord is not with me, but sometimes I can not help but to believe He is just as far away from me as I am from Him.

But I have recently begun to learn that that is entirely not true

Whether on the field or not, the Lord is always with me. I can glorify Christ through my sport even if I am on the sideline by encouraging my teammates and uplifting them with positivity. I can glorify Christ on the sideline by believing and living out the truth that my value is not in how many minutes I play on the field but in the eternal walk I take with Him. Wallowing in self-pity for myself over not getting enough playing time is the simple indulgence in the self and not in His plan for me. I am trusting in the Lord that He has placed me where I am for a bigger purpose, a purpose that somedays are very hard to understand and wrestle with, but a purpose that is bigger than I am. Besides, what I the point of me only feeling like I can only glorify God when I am playing on the field, rather than not at all times of my athletic career? The Lord does not simply just love us when we are reading our Bibles and worshiping Him in church, He loves us unconditionally at all times, and so why should I not glorify Him at all times, whether on the field or on the sideline?

Praise be to God