It was late Sunday morning, and I was watching re-runs of "Oprah." This particular episode was from 1991, and it featured a young woman who had been severely beaten, raped, and nearly killed. After the attack, she had to go through numerous surgeries, and was never physically the same.
Oprah proceeded to ask her a variety of questions, including if she could ever forgive the man. To my great surprise, the young lady responded that she already had. Not only that, but that she would even go so far as to have him over for dinner. This was obviously not able to occur, considering the next 60 years of his life would be spent behind bars, but nonetheless it struck a chord in my heart and really got me thinking: What exactly is forgiveness, and why is it important?
Forgiveness, to most people, is something you grant to another person in order to pardon them for how they wronged you, but true forgiveness is not so one-sided. Contrary to popular belief, it is not just for the person that hurt or betrayed you; it is for you, too. When you completely forgive someone, it allows you to grow as a human being. It lifts the burden from your shoulders and cleanses your soul.
Forgiveness is absolutely necessary in order to move on with our lives. Not forgiving someone may or may not hurt that person, but holding that grudge will always hurt you. You waste so much time and energy hurting or being angry at a situation or a person. And for what? Letting it go is not a sign of weakness, it shows strength. It allows you to look past those mistakes and see that we are all only human. How many times have we needed forgiveness? How many times have we needed someone else to accept us, mistakes and all, and love us regardless?
True forgiveness has no boundaries or red tape; it is unconditional. This is not something just anyone can do. It takes practice, and multitudes of understanding and sympathy. We cannot allow these arguments and wrongdoings to get in the way of the relationships we hold with other people, for this is the reason we exist -- to love and be loved. Although it may be hard, and your pride might have to be swallowed, when you choose to forgive, you choose to be set free.
The next time you are in a place where you have to make a choice, choose to turn the other cheek, choose to realize we all mess up, and choose forgiveness. In doing so, you will find peace.
