The first thing anyone ever says when you are having issues in a relationship is that now you have time to "focus on yourself." Well, what does that mean? No, don't focus on how sad you are or how you wholeheartedly believe that this was all your fault. When most people hear that they need to focus on themselves, they tend to narrow in on the negatives or on their flaws. Instead, here are eight ways to positively focus on yourself that don't involve sitting around, moping, and letting your mind wander on things that went wrong.

1. Set goals that are realistic, yet rewarding

There is nothing better to help you move on than to commit to a goal that you have been dying to achieve. However, be careful not to set unrealistic goals, because when you don't reach them, it will only make you feel worse. Start small. Lose that five pounds you've been wanting to get rid of. Finish that book you've heard so many great things about, but haven't had time. Go to the gym four times a week instead of three. Little goals that inspire you to push yourself will take your mind off of what is bothering you and force you to channel your energy into being successful, which obviously always feels good.

2. Keep yourself busy

It is a known fact that the more time you spend sitting around, even if you are binge watching Netflix, the more time you will spend overthinking scenarios and making yourself feel worse about situations. Keep moving. Stop putting things off and start tackling them right away. The more work you dive into, the more you will get done, which eliminates potential stress in the long run when you are rushing to do things. Get a job. Join a club sport. Anything to keep your body active will also keep your mind active so that when it is time to rest, you will actually get the rest you need instead of an overactive mind that just won't stop thinking.

3. Try new things

Everyone loves finding new things that suit them. Whether it be food, sports, tv shows, friends, hobbies; if it is new, try it. There is nothing to lose by trying new things, and you might find that these new hobbies or friends may even be what you have been searching for this whole time. Old things are not to be tossed to the side, but expanding your circle and broadening your horizons can only help you to grow as a person and move on from whatever it is holding you back.

4. Make time for little things

In the midst of keeping yourself busy, it is still extremely important to make time for little things like reading books, having movie nights with friends, or just a quick shopping trip. These little, mindless things allow you to escape your reality for a little while and distract you from any pain you are going through. This also allows you to find out what truly suits you and can introduce you to new activities for your free time.

5. Go on adventures

If money isn't an issue, then travel, travel, travel. Nothing is more eye-opening than seeing the world and going to new places you have never been to before. On a smaller scale, hikes at nearby trails or Googling cool places in your state to visit are just as beautiful. Adventures with good friends and family are the perfect way to get away from your small hometown and give yourself room to expand.

6. Enjoy precious time with family

There is nothing we take for granted more than small moments with our family. Instead of getting angry that your plans got canceled and you are staying in tonight, make it an opportunity to hang out with family. For one thing, these are the people who are not going anywhere and who will always be honest with you, no matter what. Hang out at the dinner table after a meal, watch a movie together, or play a board game. These are the people who will help you see yourself for who you really are and see what you deserve from life and from other people.

7. Exercise

It is always a smart idea to release bad energy in your body by going for a run or taking a fun exercise class with some friends. Working out should not be a chore or something you dread doing. Instead, make it fun and something to look forward to. The movement will help clear your head and maybe even boost your confidence if you start seeing that toned body take shape.

8. Focus on your work

Schoolwork is always supposed to be most important. Allow yourself to utilize your time wisely so that your work is still being done at the best of you ability. By focusing on your work, you can be achieving those goals you set and allowing yourself to strive past your limits. You will feel so good about yourself when you get back a paper you worked so hard on and see that it all paid off.

Most importantly, don't bury the pain and act like nothing ever happened. Allow yourself a few moments to cry or to be angry, but by all means, do not let it take over your life. Embrace it and learn how to let it make you stronger. You are the only you there is in this world. Focus on making that the best you you could be.