Two years ago I danced on stage for the last time, I performed with my team for the last time, and repped my dance studio at a competition for the last time. You never really know when senior year is going to hit you. All of the sudden there's that moment when you realize that this is the last time you get to do something you absolutely love.
It hit me twice during my last year at my dance studio. The first was when I danced at my last competition. I’m more of a lyrical or ballet kind of girl. I’ve never been outstanding at hip hop or tap. Funnily enough, hip hop ended up being the last dance I ever performed at a studio competition, and that dance happened to be my least favorite out of the four dances I performed with my team.
We walked on stage and began to dance. The audience was cheering on our not so swaggy moves and then it hit me, this is it. As the dance neared a close I could feel it coming on. We hit the final pose, ran off stage, and I just completely lost it. I’m sure the girls from other studios thought I was completely nuts or that I was about to get sick all over their jazz shoes. I couldn’t catch my breath because I had just danced my ass off. So, here I am wheezing and crying.
My team members hugged me and then my studio owner came. She was in tears as well because we both knew that I wouldn’t get to experience this ever again. We hugged and then I told her I wasn’t staying for the award ceremony. This is one of the biggest regrets I have in my life. It breaks my heart whenever I think about it. My team ended up winning the biggest tap award at the competition and I wasn’t there. I didn’t stay because I was so afraid that we would do bad and I didn’t want my last award ceremony to be filled with awful awards. I couldn’t have been more wrong. If I had the choice to experience how it felt to be there again I would in a heartbeat.
The second time it hit me was at my last dance recital. I already knew that it would be hard but I wasn’t expecting it to be as hard as it actually was. At my studio we had two recitals in the same day, in the morning and the afternoon. All through the morning recital I was completely fine . Most of the afternoon one as well. My last dance was my senior solo which happened to be the second to last dance in the whole recital. I put on my costume for the last time and slipped on my half-sole Capezio shoes. I knew it was almost my time to take the stage. I kept tearing up but I told myself that it was okay. It clearly wasn’t.
When I walked backstage I started talking to one of my friends and something within that conversation triggered it. I started crying before I even took the stage. My friend hugged me and tried to help me stop crying. I laughed through my tears with her and then stepped out onto the stage. The whole crowd could see that I had been bawling just moments before. I still cried until about halfway through the performance. Let’s just say it wasn’t my best but it sure was genuine. I had a good twenty, maybe even more, friends and family in the audience to support me. My mom told me that I had every single one of them crying along with me, even my dad.
As I finished my routine, I stood center stage and smiled as everyone clapped. Suddenly, my team, teachers, and studio owner ran on stage and enveloped me in a group hug. I laughed and hugged them back, feeling the tears coming back on, but then to my surprise the rest of the studio ran on only a few moments after them. I lost it again, right then and there. My sister, who I have danced with for as long as I can remember was bawling with me. We couldn’t believe it was over.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about the studio dance that I did back then and how much I hated it but loved it so damn much. I wish that I could go back and do it all over again. The friends I made there are ones that’ll last a lifetime.
Don’t take the things in your life that you love for granted. Whether it be family, friends, sports, or anything else of importance to you because one day it will be the last day. And once that last day is over you can’t ever get it back. Love what you do and appreciate every moment. I promise, you will regret it if you don’t give whatever you’re doing everything you’ve got. I know I do and everyday I wish I would have put more effort towards my goals and, most importantly, cherished every single part of it.
