I think just about everyone measures their value or worth in something. If you get FOMO a lot, maybe you base your worth on the number of friends you have. Maybe you base your worth on a combination of criteria, or maybe you judge yourself based on something that is not on this list. It's not wrong to hold yourself up to certain standards. But sometimes, we let those principles really get in the way of our own development. Before you read this article and think, Well I do base my worth on x, what can I do now? Am I doomed to never grow as a person? No. Just being aware of what you base your value on is a huge step in self-growth. If you are feeling awful about yourself and you cannot seem to figure out why, knowing what you tend to judge yourself on could help you figure it out.
1. How productive you are.
When I reach the end of the day and see that I have only managed to accomplish one, or even none, of the items on that list I give myself a really hard time about it. Realistically, I know that on any given day, I accomplish a lot of things. For example, every day: I get up, make my bed, make breakfast, wash my dishes, go to class, take notes, go to work, and do my homework. If I included those items every day on my to-do list I would feel pretty accomplished at the end of the day.
But because of the narrow scope that I view my "productivity" through, these tasks often don't seem like they were enough. I forgot to get the groceries, I forgot to email my advisor, I still need to send that thank you card, I never got around to writing that essay. That list in my head goes on, and on, and on, and on. Slowly, I get those items checked off, but again when it's only one or two items I give myself a harder time than I should. The thing is, I know this. I'm aware that I do it. And that makes it easier for me to just let it go and move on feeling better about myself.
2. How many friends you have.
It is very easy to compare yourself to other people and how many friends they have. Especially with social media, it is easy to find the numbers of friends, likes, or views to compare yourself against others. It's not news that social media skews reality, But you have control over your life; who you hang out with and what you do with your time. There's no reason to feel FOMO if you plan fun stuff for yourself and communicate with your friends.
3. How much money you make.
This parameter, in my opinion, seems like the silliest one to base your value on in life. How much you are paid, or how many hours you work should not account for how you value yourself. Now, if your work environment is making you value yourself less because of the way you are being treated--leave! Your time and the work you do is valuable.
4. How happy you feel.
A lot of people seek out happiness, for obvious reasons, right? Feeling happy feels good. But that's all happiness is: a feeling. Just like sadness or anger, happiness is just an emotion that we have the capacity to experience. You can't be happy all the time just like you can't be angry all the time. Feelings simply come and go as they please, some maybe more than others. Emotions are not totally out of your control, though. You can always choose to engage in activities that bring you joy or listen to songs that make you cry. Being able to just sit in whatever emotion you are experiencing is very brave. But bravery is not another criteria for you to base your worth on, you can run away from those icky feelings if you want.
5. How pretty you look.
You should not base your value based on how you look. I feel like this one is so obvious it should not even need saying. It is 2018, people! Please love your bodies! All they do is try their best to take care of you and keep you healthy!
6. How high your GPA is.
Telling kids that their value is based on how well they do in school is detrimental to their health and well-being. The effects of pushing children too hard in school can be seen even at the college level. The stress put on students, especially in environments where scholarships and programs require that students maintain a certain GPA or make certain grades, can seriously impact how much they value taking care of themselves.
