It sounds a bit selfish at first hand, but when we break this down, we are the best friend that we’ve been seeking.

Visualization is a practice of goal-setting and cultivating your dreams into the future. It can also be used to reflect on the past and what has been most important to you. I have been enamored with the consistency and Joy at which my niece and nephew have in wanting to play. This is an ordinary behavior that most children display, and one of the great wonders that our great world offers us.

I was in deep visualization of a moment when I was a kid playing at my childhood home. I pictured being in my backyard running around playing cops and robbers with friends. I asked myself in that vision “What is it that is fun here?” My intuition quickly shot back. I came to a realization that I didn’t necessarily care what I was playing, it was just that I was happy to have a friend to be with.

This has been my fundamental motivation since I was born. When I think of all of the times that my niece and nephew asked me to play, I have an acknowledgement that all they are really seeking is affirmation that they have a friend. I had forgotten how HUGE this is to me and the meaning that comes with it.

We all need this motivation and it comes in different spectrums. When I was a child my only dream was to have cherished friends. I looked up to the adults who were leaders and thought maybe one day they were who I wanted to be too. It was never about what they were doing.

Becoming my best friend means being the that person my childhood self envisioned itself to be as an adult. It requires motivation at the emotional level and a touching sense with how we feel. I hear this in the gym often, “I just don’t have the motivation today.” This is because we try to be motivated only at the physical and mental levels. Without being motivated at an emotional level, whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish will not be fun or inspiring, which is exactly the feeling we are chasing in order to experience joy.

As a leader, I reviewed my values and what I cherished from those people admired in my youth. A big part of that was fellowship. There was a certain energy about them that gravitated camaraderie, trust, and laughter among their friends. This is what I pursue everyday. Yet, in order to sustain this, I must be able to depend on myself from the inside-out on accomplishing this feeling. It can never be productive to depend solely on somebody else to derive the energy I crave. I must gather that from within.