(Starbucks, HC Stock Photos)

Hello everyone, today I and your summative peers will be judging you based on what you brought home from our favorite corporate mass producer. Get ready to face your poor life decisions you made at 9 PM because you were in need of… Something. But, just HOW desperate were you? Scale of one to 10, c’mon.

1. Not That Desperate At All, Actually.

You’ve managed to come home with the items you need AND want, like that fruity new shampoo or double A batteries. You don’t know what a dragon fruit tastes like, but you’ve always wanted to try it. Congratulations, you’ve survived another shopping-trip well off.

2. What The Heck.

Instead of what you needed, you actually picked up mascara and products guaranteed to help improve your self- esteem. It’s not like you wanted 5 colors of loofah, but it was buy three get two free. Who needs groceries anyway?

3. Okay Now-

You just got videogames. What is wrong with you I thought you had every version of Legend of Zelda wait there’s a new one

4. The Return

You got everything, made sure you got everything, packed up everything in the car, drove through five miles of rush-hour traffic only come home and realize you’ve forgotten toilet paper. Shit.

5. There’s Nothing

There’s nothing here that you or anyone else living with your strange-ass needs. What is this? FlexSeal? You know that stuff on T.V. doesn't work oh my god you brought home a cat Target doesn't sell cats what the fuck

6. Starbucks

You just went into Target to go into the Starbucks that’s in the Target just to order a caramel frap with extra whip. You leave. That’s all you got. A coffee. You do know that there’s two more Starbucks down the street, right?

7. Popcorn M&M’s.

You just got popcorn and a bag of M&M’s. Pop-Secret. Extra Butter. Two bags of multi-colored chocolate spheres, just in case. Oh man.

8. I Forgot

You forgot what you came into Target for. No, seriously, you can’t remember what is it you need. You just wandered around for the last half hour and bought something tiny at the self-checkout not to seem awkward. What is that in your hands is it Trident. Really dude. Cinnamon Trident.

9. You bought a movie on DVD

You bought a movie on DVD. Do they still make DVDs anymore?

10. The Escape Artist

Due to the fact that no one enjoys contending with the concept of Time, you’ve gotten yourself into the Target five minutes before it closes. After getting every last single item you need, you rush through the checkout only to see the manager locking the sliding doors. They shut off the lights in the industrial ceiling. You’ve been locked in a Target due to your deep, deep desire for some Doritos. Good luck finding a sane way out.