Anyone who suffers from anxiety and reads the title of this article will automatically think, "How in the world could a guy from a fraternity (of all things) help with anxiety? That sounds like one of the worst solutions out there." I can honestly say, before dating a fraternity guy, I would have completely agreed with your thought process on that one. These guys are seen stereotypically as social butterflies, people who put themselves out in the world and don't seem to have a care in the world; two things that are very difficult for anxiety-ridden people to understand.
Let me tell you how it unexpectedly became one of the best things to happen for my anxiety
1. I was thrown out of the frying pan, and into the fire very often. When it comes to dating a fraternity guy, as someone who is not involved in Greek life you learn a lot of things you didn't know before. Such as, they have a very busy schedule, and sometimes the only way to see them during a busy week is becoming involved in their organization's events. Let me tell you, when I went to the first event that was hosted by those involved in Greek life, it was extremely overwhelming. Just about everyone knew each other, and I could barely handle leaving my significant others side just to use the restroom -- my anxiety decided that moving even 10 feet away from him would be the end of the world. Over time, the more events I attended, the more comfortable I was with showing up to one of his fraternity's events even without him being there. Just the other day, I went to his Founder's Day dinner to show my support to his brothers when he had to be at work, and I didn't have my normal anxiety about it because I knew his brothers and their significant others would welcome me with open arms.
2. I branched out in ways that I wouldn't have before. As a result of being near all of his friends, I was also near all of their girlfriends and close female friends. I most likely would have not clicked with these girls if we hadn't had been at so many of the same events or thrown into double-dates because of our boyfriends (you know who you are). I am thankful for these opportunities because I have gained a fantastic group of female friends that I probably wouldn't have due to my anxious ways -- not saying that it was an impossible task, but more so that my anxiety would have prevented me from going forward and introducing myself to these people. Aside from gaining a close group of female friends, these social opportunities have shown me how easy it can be to develop your social skills, and that there are ways to conquer social situations when you do have anxiety. Some of the people I've met have allowed me to know their personal lives, and in that let me know that they too suffer from anxiety -- it's nice to have someone understand you, especially when it comes to having anxiety, because it's not always easy for those who aren't affected to be able to understand.
3. He was never afraid to help me through the problems that my anxiety presented. Sometimes, I didn't even want to go to class because the thought of being in public terrified me, which I know now sounds ridiculous. At the moment in time, I needed someone to look me in the face and say, "Not going to class is not an option. You're going and you can do this," which is exactly what he did for me. He has held me through panic attacks, held my hand when I was scared out of my mind for no good reason, and showed how proud he was of me when I went through a social situation without any repercussions. My significant other was at a conference a few weeks ago, and he came back with a bracelet he had made for me. In his handwriting was my name, but there was a bigger story behind the bracelet. It was too small for him to fit, but his original intention was to write "Just breathe, Josie," so that when he wasn't near me and my anxiety was starting to spike, that bracelet would let me know that if he was there, that's what he would say to me.
Most guys would have up and run away at the first signs of my anxiety, but my southern gentleman was never afraid to stay by my side, support me and help me to grow as a person while I left my anxiety behind.
