I started doing color guard when I was 8th grade and it wasn't something I had planned on picking up. I have never been a social person and I decided that this was going to be the year that I branched out and made more friends. I started by talking to the girl in my class with the six-foot flag. Still to this day, I’m not sure why I thought that was a good idea. After 20 minutes she talked me into going to the rehearsal after school. Little did I know that this once after-school activity would become something I now do all year-long and can’t imagine my life without it. Over the past 5 years, I have done about 3,000 or more hours of color guard. I spend December-April sweating my butt off in a gym, May-August sweating my butt off on a football field and September-November sweating and then freezing my butt off on a football field. To most people, this sounds crazy. But to me, I’m living the dream. I’ve been a part of many amazing organizations, each of which has taught me so much.
My four years marching at Plymouth Whitemarsh (PW) not only gave me the basic skills that I could build upon at other organizations, but I also learned a lot about myself. I learned that although I am very closed off and shy in my daily life, the moment I step onto the field or the floor I am a different person. For some reason performing in front of hundreds of people is more comfortable than presenting in front of 25. I found a place where every Tuesday and Thursday from 6-9 and most Saturdays I get to escape the real world of school, homework and just the overall fear of not being good enough. I found a place where for once I felt like I belong because everyone around me made me feel that way.
Also at PW I found a group of people who felt the same way I did about color guard. I may not talk to everyone I spun with in those 4 years, but those that I do are some of the best people I know. I’ve been able to march with some of these people outside of PW as well and I love that I get to continue to spin with those who were there when I started. I will forever be grateful for my PW family.
While at PW I became even closer to one of my greatest friends. I actually met Brenna seven years ago, but four years ago we started spinning together. In those four years, we have come to lean on each other. I know I can go to her for just about anything. I think the best part of getting to go back and watch my high school is getting to watch her and see my best friend doing what we both love. We have had very similar experiences while spinning and I know it's not easy, but I know that she will be amazing and continue to do great things in this activity. Hopefully one day we will get to spin together again.
A few years later, I decided I wanted to continue spinning outside of high school. I took the first step and went to the open house for the Hawthorne Caballeros. Cabs is an all-age DCA corps and I decided to go there because some of the kids from my high school marched there and my instructor teaches there so it seemed like a no-brainer. However, none of that made auditioning any less nerve-wracking. I was a junior in high school and really had no clue what drum corps really was. After open house, I realized how much work I needed to do to have any chance of getting a spot come April. I spent so many extra hours practicing because I had never wanted anything as much as I wanted this. At auditions, I was even more nervous because there was a chance I could walk out of that gym without a spot. At the end of the second day they called me over and I will never forget the fear I felt. I thought this was them telling me I didn’t get a spot; instead, they told me I got an alternate spot which meant I would fill a spot if someone else couldn’t do it anymore. I had never been so excited for something in my life. Sure I could go the whole season spinning the show on the sideline at rehearsals and sitting in the stands at shows but I would get to take it all in and come back the next year and try again.
About a month into the season the instructor announced to everyone that starting this weekend I now had a spot in the show. At this point I had no idea, so when he told us I just stood there with my mouth wide open holding back the happy tears. I couldn’t believe it, I finally got to perform next to people I have watched for three years. That season was by far my most memorable out of any of the ones I’ve been a part of. After that season I knew I belonged here and there was no hesitation to go back the next summer.
After high school marching band ended I knew I had to continue in college and there was only one choice, West Chester University (WCU). I saw West Chester when I was a freshman in high school and I remember it so clearly. It was raining and we were standing by the fence in the back of the field and from the first second of their show I knew that they were amazing. After watching them for 4 years I knew I needed to be apart of it and the moment I got my acceptance letter from WCU I was one step closer. I knew West Chester’s marching band wasn’t like other college marching band but I didn’t really understand what I was getting myself into. My high school marching band only ever had about 50 people in it and WCU had 300+. My first season with the West Chester University Incomparable Golden Rams Marching Band was definitely tough, but it taught me that the limits I thought I had were only in my head and I can do anything as long as I work hard enough. It was also the first color guard I marched in where no one from my high school was marching with me. It was the first time I was truly on my own to build my own reputation and I was nervous but ready.
Finally, in October one of biggest dreams came true. When I was in 8th grade at my first competition I saw this truly amazing color guard that I would continue to idolize all the way through my high school career and that color guard was Black Watch. I knew from the moment I first saw them that I wanted to spin there one day. After a few detours, I auditioned in September and in October found out that I got a spot. I honestly couldn’t believe it. I mean even after 5 years I still doubt my abilities, so I wasn’t really sure what was going to happen after I walked out of that gym. Even now when I am at rehearsals I still don’t believe it. I think of 14-year-old me watching them in awe and how some 14-year-old, maybe even at PW, will feel the same way watching them this year and I’ll be a part of it.
Through all these experiences I have grown not only as a spinner and performer but also as a person. I have learned that even though I may still feel insecure and not good enough there are obviously people who believe in me or else I wouldn't have gotten to march with all these amazing organizations. I wouldn't be half of the person I am today without the amazing staff I've had at PW, Cabs, WCU and BW. From the people who taught me what a drop spin is to the people who pushed me to try any new trick. Even if they don't know it, each one of them has impacted my life in such a positive way and each one of them is responsible for helping me see how amazing this activity truly is. They helped me reach goals that a few year ago I never thought I would have. Not only have they taught me how to spin; they taught me how to love this activity and myself.
I wish I could thank every one of them personally for what they've done for me. There are days when I doubt my skills and they happen more often than I want but I remember where I was 5 years ago and how much this activity has changed me. I remember how I felt before I met all these amazing people. I also remember how I struggled to throw my first toss on flag and I wanted to quit. Today I look for new tricks to challenge myself with because I want nothing more than to grow in this activity. I've come so far and I know that this journey is far from over.
