Ah, yes. College-- the best years of our lives. Notice I said years, not four years. Let’s just be realistic here, most students don’t finish college in four years, which is completely fine. Yet, knowing how to “college” properly takes strength, endurance, and a whole lot of damn patience. As cliché as that all sounds, college isn’t a walk in the park, but hell is it a ride. Here is everything you need to know or already know when it comes to knowing how to “college."
- Pack for school without packing your whole bedroom and your cat.
- Get to know your roommates and actually set boundaries with them.
- Leave your high school belongings behind, they are no longer needed.
- I am serious, do not bring that crap to college.
- Make sure to stock up on anything that can be made in a microwave. Yes, bring your Ramen, Pizza Rolls, Dinosaur Chicken Nuggets, and Hot Pockets. Being are gourmet chef is overrated in your prison cell of a dorm room.
- You have Keurig? Bring it, that daily five dollar cup of coffee will have you out of meal points and cash by the end of your first week.
- Just straight up stock up on food, cafeteria food generally is worse than the buffet at Golden Corral.
- Bring shower shoes and a caddy for community showers.
- If you are blessed with your own bathroom, clean it. Two months of built up mold is disgusting.
- Get on your RA’s good side, it may be an advantage to you later.
- Get to know the people on your floor and be wise on how well you get to know them.
- There is never anything wrong with a late night food run.
- Actually take your classes seriously, you are paying for them in the long run.
- Start a relationship with your professors in your core classes, they can turn into your mentor quite quickly. Why have a mentor? I have already had the opportunity to speak at a conference and have my work published because of one of my mentors. That is a resume builder and great experience.
- Make friends with your classmates because chances are you will forget to write something down and you will be seeing them again as you progress in your classes.
- Attend on campus events including club fairs, sporting events, and university events.
- Attend the club fair. This is where you will get all of your information regarding any of the clubs on campus. Fan of "Harry Potter?" There is probably a club for that. I am dead serious, Quidditch teams exist on many college campuses. ten points for Gryffindor.
- Library floors are dedicated to different things including a socializing floor, quiet floor, and group studies style floor. Learn which one is which. Fighting with your boyfriend over the phone on the quiet floor is no bueno.
- If you have your life in order and are prepared for your upcoming test, partying is not going to kill you.
- If you don’t want to party, you don’t have too. College culture is made up of so many different things, partying is just one slice of the metaphorical college pie.
- If you are going to party, take care of yourself. No one like a sloppy drunk. Don't fall asleep with your shoes on. Avoid any and all Sharpies.
- Learn the lingo for parties. If you haven’t heard of Tipsy Tuesday, Wine Wednesday, or Thirsty Thursday, you need to stop reading this and head over to Urban Dictionary.
- Freshmen are new faces that everyone wants to get to know. This can be a good and bad thing, use your judgement freshies.
- Get a Scranton for your test. Asking a classmate for one on the day of the test is like asking for gum back in high school. Chances are they have one, but will tell you otherwise to save it for later.
- Coming prepared to class is important. Disrupting a lecture to find an outlet plug to charge your computer is annoying, don’t think otherwise.
- Cheating is a no no!If you want to get kicked out of college, then be my guest. However, do not put a classmate in the position of where they can get kicked out as well.
- Ladies always remember, rain boots and snow boots are a must. You can never have too many scarves. The early bird gets the worm aka you get in the shower before your roommates. Extension cords are your friend. That should cover it.
- Gentlemen always remember, condoms. Yes, I said condoms. I am not a guy, so who am I to give you any more advice than that.
- Ignoring your parents until the holidays just makes you a brat. Actually make time to see your parents and go home for a weekend here and there. It is good for your soul and so is mom (or dads) home cooking.
- Park where you’re supposed to because no one likes a parking ticket.
- Emergency dorm drills are optional...as long as you don’t get caught.
- Naps, naps and more naps.
- Napping with a book on your face will not make you learn the course material any faster.
- Always say yes to free food and “swag” on campus.
- You will never hear the end of the word swag in regards to free campus gear, get used to it.
- Participating in class and asking questions actually helps you learn something. Sitting in the back of the class because you are “too cool” to participate then failing you test only makes you look like an idiot.
- Your roommate will either be your best friend or your worst enemy.
- The gym is a place for everyone who attends the University. Stop slamming your weights on the ground and stop walking in the running lanes on the track.
- Heading to class 20 minutes early one day and 20 minutes late the next is the college way.
- Looking like you just rolled out of bed is what college student call fashion.
- College will be the best time of your life,no matter how long you may be there.
If you have made it this far, I recommend you share this article because you are probably one of the only people who will have or has the attention span to last through college. I mentioned endurance and so far you have accomplished that. In the words of Asher Roth, “I wanna go to college for the rest of my life.” If that doesn’t make it pretty clear for you, I don’t know what will. Maybe this will do the trick.
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