Why did you come to college? Why are you here?

Whether it’s for education, to find yourself or to do what your parents think is best for you, I’m sure somewhere in your reasoning it’s for a personal benefit.

College is easily a time to make everything all about you- finding the best classes, living space, friends, dates, lifestyle, social media appearance, clothes, etc. As college students most of what we’re doing is working for the future to benefit ourselves. We want to find financial security or simply our life purpose that will make our careers meaningful one day. At least for me, an entire day can go by and all I’ve thought about is myself because college can be such a stressful time with GPAs, wondering if I’ve chosen the right major or if I’m living my life to the fullest. I think there are ways that us as students can live more fruitful and selfless lives in college.

This season of our lives where we’re surrounded by hundreds of people our age all going through the same thing is an opportunity- an opportunity to benefit someone else and change how we think of ourselves.

1. Three Simple Words - Creator over Creation.

A huge way we as students can feel convicted of selfishness is simply by comparing ourselves to each other, and honing in on what we don’t have. A lot of my day to day thoughts lead to the idea that I need more things. Our minds can linger to the assumption that we “need a tougher major to seem more impressive and earn more money”. Or maybe we “need to dress a certain way and lose this amount of weight to achieve ultimate confidence and social acceptance”. To escape these thoughts that I’ve found to corrupt me into always thinking about myself, there are three simple words I long to live by- Creator Over Creation. The Bible tells us to set our minds on things above. It’s great to have goals and to want to be our best, healthy selves, however, when we let creation become more important than our Creator and all that He’s promised us, we are victims of a selfish life. In Psalm 23:1 the Bible says, “The Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing.” The first time I read this, my mind was blown. One day I could have immense fortune and an elite career- a life that would seem I had everything. Or, I could have no material thing, yet have God, it won’t matter because I will still lack nothing. NOTHING. How crazy is that promise? Don’t let college make you selfish for creation. 1 Samuel 16:7 tells us that God doesn’t look at what people look at, He only acknowledges what’s on our hearts. Set your mind on things above and I guarantee selflessness will come.

2. Be Okay with Humility

Another way college can make us selfish is not being okay with failure and letting it define us. This isn’t just applicable to schoolwork, but also the choices we make in our college search for our purpose one day. Throughout my freshman year, I faced a lot of rejection from several interviews I had for club positions I wanted. It took me a while to realize that college is not high school and the competition is much more intense, and I’m still trying to find what I love regarding my major and what clubs I’m passionate about. However, 2017 has taught me that disappointment is inevitable in life and we have to learn to be okay with it. If we can’t move on, we’re depriving our minds from moving from a “woe is me” mindset to a “put one foot in front of the other” kind of motivation. In 1 Samuel 30:4, David faces disappointment- “David and the troops with him broke into tears and cried until they could cry no more.” At this point in the Bible, all odds are against David- his town burnt to the ground, he lost loved ones and everyone was after him. The chapter persists with David relying on God to regain strength and prevail in his triumphs because he didn’t let failure and disappointment define him. Opportunities and grades that don’t work out for us in college may be disappointing, but over time it helps us get one more step closer to who we’re supposed to be and what we’re meant to do. When we keep an open mind, we won’t be so focused on ourselves and will therefore have the eyes to see bigger things beyond our own needs.

3. Know Being Selfless is Inconvenient

In college it doesn’t take long to learn that every move we make has a cost. We’re at a point in our lives when we’re living on our own for the first time, and it’s easy to confuse costs of fulfillment with costs of deprivation. Our lives become all about us because we’re the ultimate person in charge of our wellbeing here at school, and when we get inconvenienced, it’s easy to make it a big deal. Maybe you constantly have to give someone a ride, be patient with a roommate, tutor a classmate or deal with family far away that keeps disturbing you from living an easy life here at school. In late February, a Freshley service taught me that love is inconvenient (click here to listen). In college we have to learn how to balance self growth with being inconvenienced by others at times. It’s difficult to make being inconvenienced seem like you’re deprived of “me time” and turn it into a perspective of being fulfilled by that inconvenience. Being selfless is being okay with doing something for the benefit of someone else and receiving nothing in return- a lesson that’s gradually teaching me the ultimate lesson of self growth. The world doesn’t revolve around you- you’re not the only one who may have a difficult living situation, important exams, a rocky home life, etc. You are surrounded by so many people your age facing so many similar problems to your own. Be fulfilled by inconvenient love and selflessness. Taking time out of your own life to recognize the struggles of others doesn’t deprive you of self growth- it fulfills that growth.