Floridians love Christmas just as much as the next person, but for us, it is a little bit different. While we can still decorate our houses with lights, tinsel, and decorations galore, we can’t exactly snuggle up next to the fire, wear Christmas sweaters, and sip on hot chocolate without sweating a lot. So, while we crank up the Christmas tunes as soon as Halloween is over just like the rest of America, we continue to dawn our tank tops, flip flops, and hit up the beach. The fact that it is 75 degrees on Christmas doesn’t stop us from enjoying our Christmas cheer. But while still love our sunny and 75 Christmas, it does change Christmas music for us. Here is how Christmas songs are dramatically different for the residents of Florida:
1. “Look out the window at that storm”, from 'Baby, It’s Cold Outside'
This song should be renamed 'Baby, It’s Hot as Hell Outside'. The coldest it has been on a Christmas Day in Florida has maybe been 75 degrees. To Floridians, “look out the window at that storm” is really referring to the 3 o’clock showers we are so used to.
2. “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas, just like the ones I used to know”, from 'White Christmas'
More like “just like the ones I will never know” because we live in a tropical climate and many of us have never experienced snow falling from the heavens.
3. “In the lane, snow is glistening”, from 'Winter Wonderland'
In the rain, roads are glistening.
4. “And the children say he could laugh and play just the same as you and me”, from 'Frosty the Snowman'
We will have to take their word for it that Frosty exists. We’ll just make some sand castles on the beach instead.
5. “Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy cozy are we”, from 'Sleigh Ride'
More like nice and sweaty, now get your body heat away from me. No snuggling on Christmas in Florida unless the A.C. is cranked up.
6. “Oh the weather outside is frightful”, from 'Let It Snow'
If by frightful, they mean the third major hurricane in the last year, then yes, very frightful.
7. “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire”, from 'Christmas Song'
How even does one roast and eat a chestnut? Can we do oysters or maybe marshmallows instead?
8. "Now the ground is white, go it while you’re young”, from 'Jingle Bells'
The ground is green and Florida is filled with the elderly. Sorry, Dean Martin.
9. “I don’t know if there’ll be snow, but have a cup of cheer”, from 'Have a Holly Jolly Christmas'
We do know that there will not be snow, but we never say no to a cup of cheer.
10. “There’ll be parties for hosting, marshmallows for roasting, and caroling out in the snow”, from 'Most Wonderful Time of the Year'
Parties and marshmallows, yes, but hold the snow. I think Florida would fall apart if that happened. The world would end and Florida would go into shock.
