Loneliness is something I have struggled with for most of my very short life. I think it's a topic most can relate to, whether they enjoy it or not. Personally, I hate loneliness, and hate is a strong word, I know. I hate the feeling of spending hours alone, craving the attention of someone else. I hate the feeling of having things to tell, but no one to tell them to. I hate wanting to spend time with others who are busy enough with their own lives.

I'm not sure how much you have to love yourself to be completely content with yourself. Or if that's ever possible. Right now, I love myself more than I ever have. I am tremendously happy with where my life is headed, my friends and everything else. I've never been as positive. How can I still feel these feelings of loneliness?

It's frustrating. It's frustrating not knowing why you feel a certain way, but also feeling like you can't do anything to help it. Sure, I could go out every night having wild nights, making reckless decisions, surrounded by people. That'd be compromising who I am. I'm starting to wonder if I'm an extroverted introvert.

Maybe I just can't handle my own company. But, how awful is that? My own thoughts start to drive me a little crazy and I miss humanity. I've been pre-conditioned to think that being alone is sad and lonely, instead of being able to enjoy myself.

I can handle being alone for maybe an hour, before I get antsy. I miss people. Even if I'm sick or hanging out without makeup in sweatpants, I miss people. As much as I can hate people, I love them. I love talking to people, listening to people, hearing about their life and so on. I love finding what we have in common or realizing how different we are. I love questions and asking them relentlessly.

I'm sure I'm too pushy and people fall out of my life because of it. I can only hope and pray that God has brought people into my life for certain reasons, and that those reasons aren't just for them to leave right away.

People can be so satisfying. I'm still struggling to learn how solitude can be satisfying. For me, when I find someone I enjoy spending time with, I want to throw myself into them. I want to be wrapped up in their worries, fears, wants and desires. I want to know what makes them tick. What's made them the way they are. I think I live off of people.

I don't need solitude, but how do you find someone who doesn't mind your constant need for them?

I'll let you know when I find out.