It is getting cold. The sun is rising later. The wind is not getting any less absurd. We all know what that means. In the coming weeks, the buses are going to be crammed with students. This would be fine and dandy, if only we had a semblance of an idea as to any remote points of bus etiquette.

How many times have we tried to escape the bitter air, only to find the front squished tighter than sardines? How many times have we had to stand because that one guy needed the aisle seat for himself and the window seat for his backpack? How many times have we become intimately familiar with the contours of that strangers backpack because it was overloaded with books and they refused to take it off? So, how do we fix it? Very easily, actually.

First, when we walk onto the bus, we should not stop walking until we cannot go any further back. Do not stop outside the first door; do not stop outside the second door. Personal space is fine and dandy on the pleasant summer days when no one minds walking, but in the harsh winter we must forgo our southern love and huddle like penguins. If the people in the back half refuse to give an inch, the people in the front will not have an inch, and our resounding disdain for compromise and our fellow students is going to land them in a bad way. Move to the back, snuggle up with strangers, and stop worrying about sudden acute claustrophobia. It is only for a few minutes. We will be fine.

Second, also painless, sit by the window. Our backpacks don’t need a seat. Our imaginary friends don’t need a seat. Again, I’m afraid, we are going to have to forget our extreme love for intense amounts of breathing room and allow another living being to occupy the space immediately beside us. The buffer seat on a bus? Doesn’t exist. There is a reason the seats are seats, and not couches. Furthermore, allowing people to actually sit down -- in the way front and the way back -- reduces the number of poor souls condemned to stand. 

Lastly, because this is only a three step program, remove the backpack. Not to stick it in the seat next to us, no. But no one wants to try and stand with a laptop, a spiral, and a textbook trying to become one with our innards. When standing, we are supposed to hold our backpack, lower, off to the side. Of course, also be mindful of the lucky folks sitting down. What reaches the side, when both parties are standing, goes for the face when one is sitting.

And, remarkably, that’s it! Three simple steps to follow and we could double the occupancy without halving the empty space. Of course, seeing as not everyone is going to change their long resistant ways over night, I end with a pro-tip: cram in the front, always. Next time you can, regardless of whatever on/off rules you have heard, get on through the second door, in the back.