When I joined my Greek organization three years ago, I didn't know it then but the bonds that I would make would cross racial and cultural barriers.
You see, I'm one of a handful of South-Asian Americans on a majority white campus. My organization is no different since I am one of two South Asian sisters in the entire organization. I thought that since I was culturally different from the others that I would be subject to offensive comments that I had experienced in the past. That couldn't be farther from the truth.
These wonderful human beings embrace my cultural differences. They ask me questions about my cultural background because they are genuinely curious and not to be offensive.
My Big is a beautiful, white and blonde young woman. We have very similar personalities as we are full of energy and life when we are around one another. I say to others who meet us for the first time, "Can't you tell we're sisters? Can't you tell we're related?". Physically we couldn't be more different for obvious reasons. She's Irish and I'm Indian.There was an instance where we were hanging out in a mall one weekend and we both walked into a salon because she had to get her eyebrows done. When she came out less than twenty minutes later, she asked me something that I never will forget.
"Ria, can I ask you something?", she hesitantly asks, not sure if her next question will offend me or not.
"Sure, what's up?" I respond.
"The Indian lady who was threading my eyebrows had this red thing in her hair parting. It looked like a kind of power or something like that. What is it and does it mean anything?"
Immediately I smile and explain that the red powder in the woman's hair is called vermillion. Vermillion (also known as sindoor) in a woman's hair is pretty much a way of symbolizing that she's a married woman since traditional Hindu wedding ceremonies don't involve exchanging rings.
This is just one of many instances where I felt like I was completely comfortable with being myself and didn't have to "act white" to fit in. When I wore a traditional formal Indian outfit to the end of the year formal, I was overwhelmed by the amount of support I got from every single one of my brothers and sisters. They thought that it was unique and beautiful.
Another sister was curious about the whole arranged marriage stereotype that surrounded my culture. In my head, I'm thinking "Please don't be one of those people that ask if I'm going to have an arranged marriage or if my wedding will be like a Bollywood movie". It was the way that she conveyed her question that made me feel comfortable about this all too uncomfortable topic.
"Ria, what is the dating atmosphere like with other Indians like yourself? Do you face any pressures within your own community or family?"
I told her that with most cultures with family-oriented values, like the South Asian culture, there's always bound to be some pressure from the community and sometimes the family as well to settle down and start a family. The truth is, we date just like other white people, just with stricter guidelines when letting the family in on the fact that you have a significant other.
There was one incident in particular in which I thought that I would have to face it alone. But again I was wrong.
Earlier this year, I had a professor who was racially biased and a classmate who was an open racist. One day in class, they both were making comments about how people in long beards and turbans are terrorists. I became defensive because Sikhs, who are also South Asians, are also known for having long beards and turbans have become mistaken for Muslims and therefore terrorists which are not the case whatsoever. The professor calls me out and says "Those are your people right?" To which my classmate response, "Why do your kind like to blow people up? You should go back to where you came from?"
When I told my sisters later that day of what had happened, they had my back immediately. They didn't accept the kind of racist and xenophobic behaviors that was being displayed and were furious at the fact that the professor didn't do anything to end this kind of behavior.
Being part of this organization allowed me to be more proud of my culture. Even in a society where being a minority makes you a subject worth degrading and sometimes dehumanizing, I am very humbled to know that there are individuals out there who are just genuinely curious and want to know more about people who different from them.
