I remember this conversation as clear as day.

"Hey, How are you?" I ask.

"I just booked a video with (insert music artist name here)," they say.

Okay, maybe I don't remember the conversation as clear as day, but because this response was used so frequently in the dance world -The Industry- it has all become a blur. Don't hate me for writing this, but I never cared about what job you booked, nor did you answer my simple question.... "How are you?"

"So Ashley, what is the problem about being happy with the industry job I just booked? What if I want to tell everyone about the dream job I worked so hard for? Why can't I mention, or be excited, that I have been training to get with an agency for a long time and now, they want me?!" There absolutely isn't anything wrong with you busting your a** and working hard toward your goals. There really is not anything wrong with working hard, and reaping the benefits of that hard work.

My problem is that your job has never defined who you are. What artist you booked, or who you didn't get hired from, does not define the person you are inside. The question I am asking goes a little deeper than the surface. When I ask 'How are you?" I care about other aspects of your life such as, if your family is okay, how you feel about not getting a job even when you worked so hard for it (not the end result, whether you got the job or not), what is your overall well-being right now- Are you happy, sad, stressed, frustrated? Don't get it confused; I'm not saying that you should give a deeper, genuine answer to those who are nosy and just like to be in everyone's business. You should be able to give genuine answers to those you trust and know (without a shadow of the doubt) they have your best interest at heart.

Dance is what you do, a hobby, a job, a career, an art form that really should be shared/spread with the world, but your well-being matters even more. You cannot forget about you. Are you mentally, emotionally, or spiritually okay? This industry is a cut throat one and it would be ridiculous to think bad things don't happen. You willingly move away from your friends and family, you lose a family member or friend while you're away, or overseas. You have no kinds of money or a crappy job but just hope that you'll make it big someday. Maybe your family never supported your dreams, so you needed a drastic change. Maybe you got injured and are having a hard time dealing with it. Whatever your personal story is, it matters and although you may not want to focus on it right away, these events affect you inside.

The industry is also a beautiful place, and you should be able to express your feelings about how awesome it is, so please tell me about what job you booked. I would love to support you as an artist, but tell me how you feel first. A job comes and goes, but your well-being always affects you. I just think it's time that as an artist, and entertainer, we stop giving so much power and control to these jobs over our feelings.

In my opinion, you are a person first, then a performer. It is okay to be both; The two affect one another, and always will. Just understand your identity should not be in performer first, but in (insert your name here).