Through all my years of schooling, one thing has remained constant: my love of English classes. So upon entering college, becoming an English major was what needed to happen. So far it's been great--fantastic, even. But there's one thing that has plagued my English career from Day One: Essays. So, for those of you who are curious, here's a basic rundown of my essay-writing process. And for my fellow English people, feel free to nod along knowingly as you read this.

2 Weeks Until Essay Is Due

-Ok, so my final essay is due in exactly two weeks--that gives me plenty of time to work on it.

-You know what? I'm going to make this my best essay yet.

-I'm going to come up with an analysis that I'm actually proud of.

*Brainstorms for approximately 10 minutes and then puts notebook away, satisfied*

A Few Days Pass

-Ok...it's been a while since I've worked on this.

-You know what? It's totally fine--I've still got time.

-I'll even go through and do a bit more outlining!

*Briefly flips through the notebook I brainstormed in*

*Puts it away without writing anything new*

-Yep, I'm pretty much the best student.

-So, so studious.

A Few More Days Pass

-Wow, I'm so glad I'm on top of all my studying.

*Remembers that I have an essay due and panics about the due date*

*Frantically looks through the syllabus to see when exactly the paper is due*

-Oh, good--it's not due for another 4 days.

-I'm so great at time management.

*Watches Netflix to congratulate myself on my scholarly pursuits*

The Day Before The Essay Is Due

-Oh, no.

-I'm made a terrible mistake.

-Why did I do this to myself?

-What do all these random things I wrote down even mean?

-Ok, so what can I even argue about in this essay?

-What if I don't care about any arguments I could make in this essay?

-You know what--it's fine. I'll just make something up.

*Writes furiously*

-Wow. That's definitely a stretch.

-But it's all I have, so we're going with it.

2 Hours Until The Essay Is Due

-Holy crap. I don't even know if this is in English.

-Also, I can't remember what exactly my thesis is about anymore.

-And I don't know if the last paragraph I wrote fits in with it at all.

-Am I even proving my point--whatever that point was? (Because I can't remember.)

-Why do I do this every time?

*Bangs head repeatedly on table*

20 Minutes Until The Essay Is Due

-I can't feel my brain anymore.

-I hate this.

-I hate my work ethic.

*Computer decides to spontaneously restart and I start pulling out my hair*

4 Minutes Until The Essay Is Due

-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

*Types so fast my fingers are blurry*

11:59--Essay Is Now Due

-Oh. My. God.

*Sits back, exhausted*

-I am both in awe of and severely disappointed in myself.

-I honestly don't know what I just wrote.

-Nope. No idea.

-That's it. Never again.

-I will NEVER wait until the last minute again.

*LIES*