Hear me out:

Yes I understand there are 88,000 deaths every year, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. I am not encouraging people to drink, the information below is purely based on my observations.

You have been invited to a “kickback” as we call it in the states via text with the following acronym: “BYOB”. Your friend who is hosting this kickback has the desire to catch up with certain people, a desire to spend time with them, a desire to gather all the cool vibes in one specific space. You ask your other friends if they have been invited as well. If they weren’t invited, you tell ‘em to come anyways. All for inclusivity, right? You also make sure that the people that are going, are people that will make you feel comfortable in that specific space. Now, let’s go over BYOB- Bring Your Own Beer or simply: bring your own alcohol. You buy the cheapest alcohol you can find at Vons or Safeway because you’re running an hour late and don’t have time to look for an affordable and good tasting beer (or ‘cause you’re broke, let’s be real).

You get to the kickback with a couple of friends and you’re greeted with almost-drunk friends and Drake playing in the background. You notice people already ahead of the buzz.

You have a group of people coming together with different personalities, different body shapes, possibly different ethnicities, possibly differing political beliefs or lack of thereof, different stories, different everything. Nevertheless, one thing everyone has in common in that particular space is that they all want to have a good time. No one goes to a kickback not looking forward to having a good time, right? Alcohol is a tool that we use to build community. We don’t intentionally use it for that reason but it kinda just happens. Community is defined as, “a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals”.

Attitude: Desire to be with others.

Interest: Sharing alcohol.

Goal: To have a good time.

As you may have noticed, the “goal” is up for interpretation. It can change depending on the level of intoxication you find yourself in. For example, you can change from having a good time, to calling your ex-boyfriend, to having revenge sex, to punching the first tree you see. Making sure that your goal (have a good, safe time) is the same throughout the night can help avoid the 88,000 alcohol-related deaths every year. People who want to have a good time with others at a kickback use alcohol to make community happen.

Next time someone judges you for drinking regularly, just tell ‘em that alcohol builds community. It brings people who want to have a good time together.