Here I go again, talking about drugs and the impact they've had on my life. You're thinking, "What was she addicted to?" No that's where you're wrong, I wasn't addicted to anything. But addiction took part of my heart without me even physically being the one involved.

Addiction stole part of my heart, part of my happiness. It stole what my family could have been, it broke me, and it took my dad.

Almost six years ago, my father died of a heroin overdose.

I'll save the details, for the sake of his privacy. But I will tell you this. I was broken. I was destroyed. I was so angry with God and the entire world. Didn't God hear the conversation dad and I had a week before he passed? He was going take me out for my birthday — he was gonna make up for all the years he was gone. He was apologetic, he was telling me how much he loved me.

He promised, "Daddy isn't gonna go away again. I'm here Sarah, forever."

I was so angry with God. I was so angry that He saw my father pour his heart out to me and let him die a week later. How was the world so cruel? I knew this stuff happened, all over the world, and all the time, but I thought I was invincible. I've struggled with his death even before he died. How crazy Is that? Addiction did that to my family. Addiction made him someone he wasn't. He was funny, loving, and sarcastic as ever. I wish I could forget all the times I saw him high, barely awake, saying crazy nonsense. I wish I could erase every bad memory I have with him. I wish I could erase the years he was away in either rehab or gone from the world high off heroin.

Addiction didn't just affect him. It affected Sarah, Noah, Nathan, Erin, Lisa, Paul, Chrissy, Gary, April, Dawn, and so many others. All of his family. Addiction stole my dad. It stole my mom's husband. It stole from a brother and a son. We all miss him.

While I grew up without a dad most of the time, I have an amazing mother who raised three kids because addiction took him away from being a father. I'm crying right now because the pain is real. Sometimes I just miss simply having a dad — is that terrible to say? Is it terrible to say that I don't miss him or anything he put us through...I miss the fact that I was a child who grew up without a dad.

It was my 13th year of dancing the year when he passed? That's a big accomplishment for dance. I tried to dance after he passed — I think I made it through one class before I quit. He started me at the dance studio when I was 3. It was my escape from reality ever since I can remember. I couldn't dance without remembering him taking me to our favorite restaurant and eating ravioli together after dance class. I couldn't dance without thinking how he will never be at another dance recital or award show.

See? Addiction didn't just steal my dad away from being a dad, It stole part of my childhood and my siblings.

I'm healing every day. I'm going to take my pain that his addiction put me through and make something of it. I'm gonna make something of myself, and I'm going to bring awareness to addiction and show my story in a way to help others. I grieved him before he was gone, now it's just my reality.

"Oh Sarah I've been so worried u may have given up on me. Not an hour goes by that I don't think about you and get this big knot in my stomach worrying that u don't want me in your life anymore. I know I have hurt u but if u can hang in there a bit longer, I swear I'll be here for u and I'll never go away again"

In one of the last messages my dad ever sent me, he was promising to stay.

But addiction is real.

If you or someone you know needs help with substance abuse or mental health issues, call 800-662-HELP (4357) for the SAMHSA National Helpline.