I was in 5th grade when I first started getting acne. At first, I literally didn't think anything of it. I barely thought much of my appearance in general--being both 10 years old and somewhat of a tomboy--I didn't bother looking in the mirror except to brush my teeth or wash my hands. I didn't notice that other girls had clearer skin than I did.

One day at recess, I was swinging alone when another boy came up and got on the swing beside me. After a while, we started to swing at the same pace. Where I grew up, kids often referred to this as "being married," because, well, kids are weird. One of his friends came over and started shouting to him, "You're married to a girl with zits! You're married to a pizza face!"

This stuck with me. It was the first time I realized that other people saw acne as something negative. Sometime soon after, I asked to use my mom's concealer stick and then started asking for my own--anything to hide the red, splotchy patches on my face.

As I went through puberty, my acne started to get worse. It was often painful, both physically and emotionally. There were so many days when I just wanted to stay in bed and not show my face to the world. It was exhausting waking up and feeling like I had no choice but to slather my face with goop that barely matched my skin color--just to feel normal.

In high school, I constantly carried around a little bag with foundation and concealer on me. When my friends complained about waking up with a little zit on their chin, I stewed in jealousy. When I slept over at friends' houses, I refused to wash my face (even though I knew it wouldn't help my case) for fear of them seeing me bare-faced. My acne took a massive chunk out of my self-esteem. Being "pretty" seemed absolutely unattainable.

A good skin day back in 2011, when I thought my acne was being relatively tame

I tried every supposed remedy there was: tea tree oil, witch hazel, apple cider vinegar, egg masks, toothpaste, Clean & Clear, Neutrogena, Clarisol, and much more. I finally started going to a dermatologist (who I still see today!) during my sophomore year, and things finally started improving. For the first time in my life, my acne wasn't getting worse--but eventually, it began to plateau.

After a year of no results, my dermatologist recommended Accutane, which is an extremely harsh, controversial drug. Accutane affects everyone differently, but I knew my dad had taken it in high school (thanks, genetics!) and had been fine, so I wasn't overly concerned. I eagerly agreed to try it, desperate for clear skin.

I was lucky in that I didn't have any of the horrible side effects I had been seen in warnings online. Although it was a long, grueling 10 months of flaky, irritated skin, constant dry lips, blood draws, crunchy hair, and breakouts that got worse before they got better, it was wholeheartedly worth it.

After I came back to school in the fall as a senior, so many people mentioned how clear my skin looked. The confidence I gained in my appearance was astounding. Going on Accutane was the best thing I could have ever done for myself at that point in my life

.

Last summer, three years after completing one round of Accutane

I now realize that my acne was not as severe as it could have been, and I am so thankful for that. Still, it took a toll on me as a teenager. When I think about myself four or five years ago, I think of insecurity. Today, I think about myself in a more confident light.

Of course, I still have breakouts and bad days. I don't think I went to school without makeup on for one day before sophomore year of college. I'm pretty critical and fussy about my skin to this day, but I also have a routine that works for my skin. Overcoming acne might not seem like that big of a deal for some, but for me, it was everything. If you're struggling with confidence due to acne, you're not alone. Try not to be too hard on yourself; acne is not a permanent situation.