Horse shit never smelled so good! Walking into the local equine therapy center that treated people with physical and psychological illnesses, was like entering the golden gates of heaven. The poop aroma filled the air as I tried to swat away the nasty flies….and I knew instantly that I was “home”. Growing up, I always daydreamed about my perfect house and family, but I never imagined having a family of my own at the age of nineteen. I am privileged to have four beautiful children who were adopted from different farms….yes farms because my children are horses.

I remember walking into the barn for the first time and I realized that this was the one place I would never be judged. It was on that day that I met my first child Piper. As the year went on my son Teddy came to the barn (he’s such a mama’s boy) and I knew in that moment he would fit perfectly as a playmate to Piper. A year passed and then came the arrival of my three year old baby, Lilly. Lilly, the youngest, had a lot to learn. I promised her I would give her every opportunity to flourish, like a good mom would do for her child. .A few weeks later, my teenage daughter, Kitten, arrived. I knew in my heart Kitten would teach me more about life than I could ever learn from psychotherapy.
Prior to adopting my magnificent children, I suffered from severe clinical depression which was a direct result of being bullied. I am one the many children who were bullied in middle school, which lead to my addiction to self-harm, alcohol, bulimia, and suicide attempts. But I refused to be a part of a statistic, so I proved everyone wrong. I turned my life around and am proud to say that I’ve been clean for over a year now!

I am truly blessed that God has gifted me with my four wonderful children. Each horse taught me a new coping skill. Piper taught me to stay calm because people generally don’t respond to a negative tone of voice. Teddy taught me to love again. After being bullied by boys for three years, it was hard to allow myself to trust enough to love. With Teddy’s help, I was able to see that not all boys are callous. My dearest, beloved, Lilly taught me to be a child again and have a little fun, because life shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Kitten, my gentle angel, has taught me the simplest life lesson- to believe in myself. Some have said that I saved my horses. In reality, my horses have saved me.