Just two years ago, I said goodbye to my childhood home of nearly 18 full years in Norwalk, Connecticut. It was one of the saddest moments of my life, apart from my family members passing away. I did not support my parent’s decision, even though we merely moved to a neighboring city, Fairfield. This did not matter to me. The location did not matter to me. It was the house. The home, that mattered to me. I would pick up that house and move it anywhere if I could. I even constantly tell my parents when they ask me where I want to live when I grow up and graduate college that I would want to buy back my family house. Now, yet again, another family home is being taken away from me. My family and I have had a lake house for over eight years now, and when my first childhood home was taken from me, this became the new one. Now, I am left with two of my family homes taken from me.

I have to admit that this second separation was devastating, possibly even more devastating than the first. Why? Because now I am left with no home. It is hard for me to consider Providence College as a true home because to me, it is really just college. This does not mean I do not love Providence College, because I truly do, but it will never be the same as a true home in my eyes. So, what can I do? Well, I am now attempting to make my Fairfield house my true home now. As of right now, I am finding it extremely difficult. There are a few steps I have taken to put this plan into action. Although they aren’t effective right now, I personally believe that the more steps I take to make it a home, the closer I will get. I only have three now, but more are to come.

1. My first step is to make sure I spend all of this year’s holidays, at least the ones that are left, at the Fairfield house. Usually, we spend holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas at another family member’s or family friend’s house. Not this year. I told my mom that my one requirement of this year’s holiday season is to spend it at home. This means we eat turkey here, we open presents here, we make a fire here and so on. I will even settle for the Yule log on OUR television.

2. My next step is to spend more of my time enjoying the house. I spend most of my weekends at home, since I am so close to my family. However, even when I am home for the weekend, I really am not. What do I mean by this? Well, I live a very active lifestyle. I am often jumping, or driving I should say, from place to place. Shopping, running errands,and doing fun activities wherever they pop up, but I do not spend much of my weekend home time relaxing or merely appreciating my home. I think taking a nap on the couch might fix this one.

3. My last step as of right now is to cook, bake and clean more. This may seem super odd but I think that what truly makes a home is the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in the oven. Whether it be making fresh pasta or a big, luscious chocolate cake, making food in a house truly makes it a home. The smell alone sets the cozy tone. Then there is cleaning. Not many people truly enjoy cleaning, and I am one of them as well. However, when you clean a house, you get to know it. You notice every nook and cranny, and again, appreciate it. If you take care of it, it’ll take care of you. A home is where you should feel your most comfortable and happy. So even if you just folded the blankets, you are free to undo it and snuggle up.

Of course these are only three things I have thought of to attempt to make my Fairfield house truly feel like a home, as my Norwalk and the lake house was to me, and still is even. I know that I will get there, but I do have mixed feelings about the steps I am taking. I feel like a home should not be forced on you. It should just happen. Shouldn’t the feeling and the vibe come naturally? I guess only time will tell where I go from here, but it is hard to handle the fact that at some point, everyone has to let go of his or her childhood home.