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How To Be A Hot Mom According To Fergie's "M.I.L.F.$"

Please don't google "MILF."

Corbett De Giacomo

Jul 06, 2016

Southern Methodist University

559

How To Be A Hot Mom According To Fergie's "M.I.L.F.$"

vevo.com

Fergie's new song; "M.I.L.F.$" is great for two reasons:

1. It has a dollar sign in the name.

2. It has a killer music video.

No, seriously, this is the music video to end all music videos. Move over, "You Belong With Me" because this one really takes the cake. Let me paint you a picture. The "M.I.L.F.$" video is basically a "Got Milk?" ad featuring a whole squad of other celeb moms. It also includes some nude bodysuits and some casual breastfeeding. Not picturing it yet? I guess I'll just have to show you some of the highlights. Basically, Fergie sing-raps while showing us that she's not a regular mom, she's a cool mom, obviously making this your how-to guide on being a great parent. I've broken it down into a few simple steps:

1. Pimp your ride.

When I was younger, this is the car my mom drove me to school in everyday:

And let me tell you, that thing never made it anywhere near a mountain.

Fergie's mom car looks like my mom's car if it got a "Princess Diaries" style makeover. Make sure your license plate says "MILFville" for an added touch of class. Also, do not google "MILFville" to see if it is a real place unless you want to be permanently scarred. You're welcome.

2. Pimp your hair and makeup.

True, your almond shape nails may be so sharp you'll have to wear oven mitts every time you want to make contact with another human, but they're nothing compared to the intense contouring you'll see in the carpool line from celeb moms like Kim K.

3. Know about nutrition.

There is a point in the video where Fergie is apparently instructing a class on nutrition, well, less nutrition and more a list of different kinds of milks plus the word "calories." That's really all you need to know, right?

4. Wear plastic.

Forget comfy clothes, according to Fergie, the best option for hot moms is some sort of shiny latex suit or nude leotard. The PTA will love it!

5. Have other hot mom friends.

Backing you up in similar latex getups, that is. Make sure to sprinkle in a few Victoria's Secret models and your squad will be complete.

Totally easy, right? Fergie is back and better than ever, check out the full video below to watch her in action.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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How To Be A Hot Mom According To Fergie's "M.I.L.F.$"

Please don't google "MILF."

1. Pimp your ride.

2. Pimp your hair and makeup.

3. Know about nutrition.

4. Wear plastic.

5. Have other hot mom friends.

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When you have no ideas for what to wear to this date function

1. Dime and a Mime

2. Ramp and a Lamp

3. Hooters and Shooters

4. Sherlock and Woodstock

5. Spaghetti and a Yeti

6. Whale and snail

7. Ladder and Bladder

8. Rake and Snake

9. Jam and Ham

10. Pig and a Twig

11. Banana and Nana

12. Dairy and Fairy

13. Hibachi and Versace

14. Trash bag and American Flag

15. Gumball Machine and American Dream

What is a rhyme without reason date function?

What are some top ideas for a rhyme without reason?

What are some sources of rhyme without reason inspiration?

A long over due thank you note to my greatest passion.

What happened in the beginning, and how the heavens were set in motion.

But you know you still know every word.

1. "Big Pimpin'" - Jay-Z ft. UGK

2. "Mr. Brightside" - The Killers

3. "Lose Yourself" - Eminem

4. "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) - Toby Keith

5. "Drop It Like It's Hot" - Snoop Dogg ft. Pharrell Williams

6. "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" - Green Day

7. "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" - Panic! At The Disco

8. "Semi-Charmed Life" - Third Eye Blind

9. "Baby Got Back" - Sir Mix A Lot

10. "Get Low" - Lil Jon ft. Ying Yang Twinz

11. "Check Yes Or No" - George Strait

12. "Ride Wit Me" - Nelly

13. "Pony" - Ginuwine

14. "Cleanin' Out My Closet" - Eminem

15. "Gangstas Paradise" - Coolio

16. "It Was A Good Day" - Ice Cube

17. "What's Your Fantasy" - Ludacris

18. "Everybody (Backstreets Back)" - Backstreet Boys

19. "Misery Business" - Paramore

20. "Steal My Sunshine" - Len

21. "Fly" - Sugar Ray

22. "Song 2" - Blur

23. "Buddy Holly" - Weezer

24. "No Rain" - Blind Melon

25. "99 Problems" - Jay-Z

Appreciation for some of life's most discredited pleasures.

1. Sun showers

2. Smiles

3. Tight hugs

4. Discovering new foods you like.

5. Laying in bed after a long day.

6. And being completely relaxed

7. "This reminded me of you"

8. Breakfast foods

9. Over-sized clothes

10. Contagious laughs

11. Car rides with that one person

12. Random (I miss you/ I love you) texts

13. The city at night

14. Surprises

15. Blanket cocoons

16. Good hair days

17. Really good coffee

18. Days where you're in a good mood naturally and for no particular reason

19. Conquering a fear

20. When they give you a lot of guac at Chipotle

21. Being so comfortable with someone that you can literally talk about anything

22. Home-cooked meals

23. Tattoo stories

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