By now, you're probably aware of the question that stumped the internet a couple years back:
Is a hot dog a sandwich?
If you've never heard this question, consider yourself lucky. Besides the infamous blue/gold/I don't know what color we as a society settled on it being dress, the hot dog debate is the most ~hot~ly contested topic, at least according to how many hours it has kept me up thinking at night.
A common argument for a hot dog being classified as a sandwich uses the official Merriam-Webster dictionary definition of a sandwich: "Two or more slices of bread or a split roll having a filling in between" which is vague enough to count. A common argument against a hot dog being a sandwich: "It's just... not a sandwich. I don't know. It just feels weird to call it that."
At first, I was of the opinion that since the definition of a sandwich doesn't exclude hot dogs, they can be lumped in with them if we so choose. Then I realized that I will NEVER call a hot dog a sandwich and that everyone that does so is evil for speaking that kind of chaos into existence.
I haven't seen much discourse on the hot dog debate recently, so I decided to search for other dumb, time-wasting internet questions and force my friends to answer them so I can assess whether our friendships can continue or not. Luckily, I found a whole thread dedicated to those very type of questions!
1. Is cereal a soup?
The "No" argument:
"Cereal is eaten cold and soup is eaten hot."
My response: Reasonable, but I always feel like I have to point out that cold soups exist. I wouldn't eat them, but hey, they're out there.
The "Yes" argument:
"Soup is just liquid and solid foods mixed together."
My response: Gross, but I guess that makes sense.
My verdict: Cereal isn't a soup but I won't call you crazy if you say it is.
2. What is the correct way to put on socks and shoes?
Sock, sock, shoe, shoe or sock, shoe, sock, shoe? What do people think?
The "Sock, sock, shoe, shoe" argument:
"My other foot will get cold if I don't immediately put a sock on it."
My response: Socks feel amazing, especially in the winter, but do feet get cold that fast? Mine don't. Is it weird that that they don't? How worried should I be about this?
The "Sock, shoe, sock, shoe" argument:
"I like that one foot is complete before I move onto the other."
My response: Ok.
My verdict: I don't care how you put on your socks and shoes as long as it's not shoe, shoe, sock, sock.
3. Are the Americas one giant island?
This is a spicy one. Let's see what people have to say.
The "Yes" argument:
"They're surrounded by water on all sides."
My response: True! They pass that test with flying colors.
The "No" argument:
"An island has to be a country."
My response: Hawaii is made up of a bunch of islands that are obviously not individual countries. Ever heard of an ARCHIPELAGO? NEXT.
My verdict: I'm going to say yes just because I really want the answer to be yes.
In conclusion, life is full of a bunch of dumb questions that have no significance and will pop into your head while you're sitting in lecture, causing you to stare wistfully out of the window and wonder why you're so unwilling to classify a hot dog as a sandwich.
