Maybe it’s a millennial thing exasperated by online dating and risky behaviors, maybe its been around forever and I just noticed it now that I’m older I have a better grasp on the relationships that surround me. Regardless of why, I can say that without a doubt there is nothing I hate hearing more than “It’s just casual.” No, I'm not referring to a dress code, instead, I’m referring to one of the most important aspects of human social development, relationships.

In its simplest terms, I’m referring to hookup culture, something that in the slippery slope of things can eventually lead to a dip in population group. (Clearly, I’m exaggerating here). Hookup culture is this new belief that relationships are useless. Instead, people should hook up, keep things casual, there’s no need to put in effort into serious relationships, especially in this day and age.

As stupid as hookup culture sounds, it also happens to be dangerous to society. From a feminist perspective, while hook up culture encourages sexual freedom, it contributes to rape culture and sexist believes in regards to women and sex. A man that engages in hookup culture, continues to be known as a legend, while a woman that engages in hookup culture continues to be slut-shamed.

Since when are relationships supposed to be casual? Is it so wrong to fall in love, to give relationships your undivided effort and attention?

Of all my flaws, perhaps my most fatal is the fact that regardless of everything, I will never stop being the world’s biggest hopeless romantics. I’ve never had the pleasure of falling in love, nothing has ever come close. Yet I still believe it’s possible, and that even while all the boys around me are obsessed with tinder and hooking up with the most girls at parties, I have never lost hope that one day, down the line hopefully, I’ll find that soulmate.

Yet, for some unexplained reason, my generation has this obsession with keeping things casual and just hooking up. Why can't we just fall in love? Why can't we think of having a future with someone? As much as I would love to explain this lack of planning for the future to be a direct result of global politics and climate change, I know that is not true.

If we can plan ahead in terms of entertainment and careers why can't we plan ahead when it comes to love and relationships. We don’t keep friendships casual, we give our undying love and support to our friends, why is it so hard to do the same with significant others?

Is it the fear of inevitably getting hurt? The increase in marriages that end in divorce that scares us? Are we terrified of being vulnerable? Of being seen as weak? Do men fear sensitivity being seen as unmasculine and undeserving of power? Do women see sensitivity as getting in the way of power as a result of preconceived gender roles? Do we view falling in love as a roadblock towards success? Am I just overcomplicating things?

Maybe all generations are like this and my obsession with romantic music and rom coms shaped me into believing that everyone wants to fall in love. Maybe this is a new millennial thing that came along with tinder and match.com. I don’t know for sure. And not knowing scares me even more than what happens when relationships fail.

Hookup culture terrifies me. I no longer look forward to meeting someone I can have a future with if I know that they no longer believe in having a future. I no longer talk to boys at parties because I know they probably don’t even want to be my friend, they just something quick and casual. I know guys that no longer talk to girls at parties for the same reason. All genders and all ages engage in hookup culture and because of it, I’m starting to lose hope in something that makes my world go round, love and romance.

Not to mention, there's so much pressure to engage in hookup culture. Everyone around you is doing so, its the only way you'll find someone, you hope you can change your hookup obsessed partner. It ends up being so toxic and unhealthy.

Hookup culture: it needs to die. We need to go back to a time in which people took love seriously, in which people aimed to be in relationships to find their soulmates. Next time you Netflix and Chill, watch the movie, pay attention, and fall in love with the idea of love again.