I grew up in an extremely small town in southwest Michigan, a farm town. No matter where I went everyone always knew everyone. You could go to the grocery store and be greeted by every person in the store because you knew them or a member of their family personally. I could ride my bike around town with my friends, or even alone at any time of day and not worry about any predators, being kidnapped or getting lost. All of my immediate family even lived within a mile or two from each other, so you could say I grew up in a very safe and family-oriented environment. As great as this was, I think a negative effect I suffered because of this was becoming extremely naïve to the evil that’s out in the world today, rape culture being one of those evils specifically.
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I had heard about the term rape growing up through major cases in the news or by word of mouth, but I never fully understood the concept and exactly how big of a deal it was in society. When I got to college however, that quickly changed.
I still remember visiting Michigan State University for the first time. I had visited numerous colleges before and didn’t really see what all the fuss was about. I remember thinking to myself, “Is this it? Is this what they made all those movies about?” When I got to MSU though, I knew exactly what the buzz was about. I absolutely loved it and felt like there was no other school on this planet I would rather spend my college career at. So it was decided, at the end of summer I would be a Spartan. Sounds all rainbows and butterflies, right? Little did I know, I was in for a lot more than I bargained for.
A friend I met during orientation dragged me to a party our first weekend at school. I remember being so excited because I never experienced anything like it growing up. The most we did was sit around a bonfire with our parents inside and made smores. The party was at a frat. I dressed very subtle, I still remember contemplating what color v neck to wear with my jeans, as if that were going to be my biggest worry of the night. As soon as I walked in, I knew I didn’t belong there. Everywhere I turned there were girls with their stomachs out, wearing shorts that were so short I was nervous their vagina was going to fall out. I witnessed guys grabbing without asking, grinding and just watching all of the women like they were pieces of meat. That same moment I realized that maybe college isn’t exactly all the rainbows and butterflies I originally anticipated.
Looking back now as a senior at MSU, thinking of all the things I’ve witnessed throughout my time here, I was so naïve before I came. I’ve had friends who have been drugged, abused and did things they didn’t want to because of rape culture on college campuses. Here’s my question: is there a correlation between this hookup culture my generation is practicing and rape?
Sure, there may not be one definition of “hooking up”, it means different things to different people. Overall, I think we can all agree that hooking up is committing any sort of sexual act without the commitment or intimacy of a relationship, right? Great, glad we’re on the same page. Many young women I interviewed stated that they believed the reason young people hookup is because they’re either scared of commitment, or don’t want to deal with the hassle of a relationship.
Now ask yourself this: if you’re just “hooking up” with someone, you’re basically using him or her for their body, as they are to you, correct? Since when is using someone in any way, shape or form considered respecting a human being? It’s not. What I’m trying to say, is that this “hookup culture” that seems to be a thing on college campuses everywhere, is not only demeaning one other, but it also is making us lose respect for each other as human beings. If you don’t respect someone, why would you ever treat him or her in a respectful manner? Let alone their bodies. This issue goes way deeper than just rape, it can’t be just categorized as that. It’s not that black and white.
Because of hookup culture occurring across college campuses everywhere, women are being demeaned, used and even sadly being forced to do things they don’t want to do. In a book called Girls & Sex by Peggy Orenstein, there is a specific section that really made me realize that hookup culture has gone way too far. Orenstein went into detail about surveys she had conducted with young men about their sexual aggression. A quote from the book stated by males interviewed said, “They would say, ‘Yes, I held a woman down to have sex with her against her consent, but that was definitely not rape.” She concluded in her studies that they said this because it was part of what our culture now defines as “normal interaction” between men and women because of hookup culture.
Like I said, though, rape isn’t the only thing young women today have to be scared about. It’s gotten to the point to where we can’t even wear certain attire out in public without being labeled. I spoke to a female student at Michigan State University who stated,“ I have literally been told that I look like the kind of girl that wants to go home with someone because I was wearing makeup and heels.”
That’s funny.. I didn’t realize that everything young women do is for men. For some reason I was under the impression that I get up and get ready every day to make MYSELF feel good, not for the attention from a man. But what do I know about myself, right?
I spoke with two young women, Jennifer and Vanessa, about their thoughts on the correlation between hookup culture and rape on college campuses. “People go to parties with this unspoken mutual understanding that they’re there to hookup,” Vanessa said, “But men often take it too far.” Going off of this, I think one of the scariest aspects of rape on college campuses is that many young women don’t even realize that what they’ve experienced is rape.
In Girls & Sex, there’s a section where a professor of psychology named Mary P. Koss had done a study funded by the National Institute of Mental health about date rape. One of the statistics she found was that more than one-in-four girls had experienced a sexual encounter fitting the legal definition of rape and had no idea.
Out of 100 rapists only two will serve time in person, every year one-in-eight college women are raped, 85 percent of those women know their attacker and over 50 percent of rapes occur in residences. Rape is a serious problem that has been proven on college campuses everywhere! It’s a very serious problem that can’t be taken lightly and needs to be changed. It is not okay that young women like myself are scared to go out in public in certain clothing because I may be assaulted. It’s not okay that I have to second-guess what I wear, how much makeup I wear or even if I can take a sip of a drink that’s not mine. Being a young woman in college is supposed to be fun. College is supposed to be the time of your life where you get to experience new things, learn things about yourself and grow.
I’m not naïve, I know that hookup culture isn’t going anywhere. However, I do hope that young people will start to realize what it’s doing to our overall view of one another. I hope they start to realize the lack of respect that comes from hooking up and how that carries into their every day life. I hope they realize what this hookup culture symbolizes. People my age are starting to get better and better and not caring. This hookup culture is growing because people are becoming so uncaring, which isn’t a skill that anyone should be proud to have. Lastly, I hope they realize that there is a connection between hookup culture and rape on college campuses and we’re the only ones that can stop it.
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