"Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." This was the fifth commandment given to Moses by God in the Old Testament. In the millennial age of postmodern truth and disrespect for our fathers and mothers, many have forgotten this crucial command. This command, although given in a religious context, should be followed by both the religious and the secular person. The fifth commandment, though seemingly very simply, is one of the most important moral truths that mankind can adhere to.

This commandment was very important to ancient Israel, and to understand how valued this law was we must first understand that there are two parts to this commandment. There is the command to "Honor thy father and mother," Then there is the consequence "that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." This second part of the command does not state that you should honor your parents so that you will live a good life, but so that you may. The Israelite's are stressing a point here: you cannot live a good life unless honor your parents. It is not by God's will that you will live a good life when you honor your parents, but by his mercy.

Whether one believes in God or not they should find this idea to be true. When we do not respect our parents, or come to terms with their actions in a healthy way, we are often plagued for the rest of our lives.

I remember my parents' divorce very vividly. Everything from their fighting, to moving, going from house to house, counseling, etc. I remember almost completely. When I was a teenager I made a decision that would haunt me until I went to college: I would do everything in my power to distance myself from my parents.This decision was hidden under a high degree of disrespect for my mother and father. My parents made many mistakes, some of which I probably was justified in being mad at, but my decision to distance myself from them would not hurt my parents nearly as much as it hurt me.

My disrespect for my parents led me to not hate them nearly as much as I hated myself. The truth is many of the traits we gain from childhood come from our parents. If we decide to hate our parents, we ultimately decide to hate ourselves. I could never escape my parents because their personality was welded into me. I have my dad's stubbornness as much as I have my mother's eyes. We can never escape our parents because, in many degrees, we are our parents.

Another problem that came when I distanced myself from my parents I did not realize until recently. When one decides to disrespect or throw their parents under the bus, it is always due to pain. This pain stays with you later in life and never goes away until you come to terms with it. My parents' divorce weighed me down until I accepted it for what it was, which involved forgiving and loving my mother and father. Often I would blame many of my faults or failures on my parents. I would go in circles and was always unable to resolve a pain in my soul that could never be fixed by running. It's like pulling a weight which can be unchained simply by releasing the chain around your neck, but for some reason, you wish to keep pulling, hoping that the chain wears out when it never does. It was not until I accepted my parents and the past until this chain was lifted.

To those who have problems with their mother and father be warned. You may think that you are doing yourself a favor when you seek to run away and never see your parents again, or think you can escape their traits. Instead, you will face what the ancient Israelite's warned about: the inability to live a blessed life. Respecting, loving and coming to terms with your parents does not mean that you have to agree with their mistakes. Honoring your mother and father involves accepting your parents for what they are and seeking a relationship with them. I know others whose parents are alcoholics, drug addicts, negative or hostile, but have come to terms with this. They may not agree with their parents actions, but they can accept who they are and love them despite their mistakes.

The consequences of not doing this are to severe. Your life will be plagued by the past if you do not honour your father and mother. Instead of saving yourself, you do end up doing the opposite when you refuse to honor your father and mother: you destroy your future by refusing to come into terms with your past.