The heat wave is rolling around, and everybody's drenched in sweat and prayers to the Almighty Being Above that this is temporary. But for now, here are some tweets that can cool you down.
Even Lin-Manuel can't dance his way out of this one.
When you're so heat frazzled you pull out your Metrocard to open your apartment— Evil-Lyn Manuel Miranda (@Evil-Lyn Manuel Miranda) 1530645515.0
Wonder if he was still charged $2.75. Maybe even double if the first swipe didn't go through?
Honestly, this kid's got the right idea.
this HEAT. https://t.co/1aryk1n26J— samra (@samra) 1530724575.0
This plan's perfect. If he migrates to the ice cream section, he might even find some food to sustain him.
Remember, ladies: Deodorant isn't just for armpits!
pls check on your thick friends 😥 it’s too hot & our thighs are rubbing together— debssss✨ (@debssss✨) 1530731695.0
Thick friends, don't let the heat stop you from serving looks. But do slap on some deodorant between your thighs to make sure the chafing doesn't stop you either!
It's even spurred some religious existential crises.
I gotta get my life together this heat just made me realize im not built for hell 😩🤦🏽♂️— HarlemMogulTae (@HarlemMogulTae) 1530730147.0
I think I heard it most aptly put when somebody described the heat as "Satan's asscrack." No?
But on a more body positive note...
science: heat makes things expand me: [in this weather] okay so i’m not actually fat i’ve just EXPANDED— unhinged meltdown machine (@unhinged meltdown machine) 1530727689.0
Bill Nye is a proud man today.
Can we apply this decree to all people too?
During the heat wave make sure your pets have plenty of water, cool sunglasses, a funny hat, one of those drinks wi… https://t.co/rGrtEMDTjR— Kevin Lieber (@Kevin Lieber) 1530461979.0
Does this give anybody else High School Musical 2 Sharpay vibes? Because I'm totally down to recreate that moment. I love it when synchronized swimmers in flower caps jump into pools in the middle of my big solo number.
But most importantly, for the passed Independence Day, remember this.
While you were complaining about the heat, this man was drenched head to toe in sweat in the hottest place in Ameri… https://t.co/kDT80wSOqr— Caleb SkHull 💀🎃👻 (@Caleb SkHull 💀🎃👻) 1530656473.0
'Murica, anyone? Because on a more bittersweet note, there are men like this who remind you the extra sweat and chafing is A-OK in the face of this sacrifice.
Remember, guys: Stay hydrated, keep your pets inside and check Craigslist for anybody willing to go full-Cleopatra with the palm fronds.
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