Me: I really need to start doing my homework – I have two essays to write, five chapters to read, and a project to do all by tomorrow.
Me to me: Stay up till 3 a.m. watching Netflix instead.
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Chances are, you’ve had this inner dialogue with yourself before, or at least something like it. It’s the eternal struggle of having homework to do, but just not wanting to do it. Luckily for us, Kermit the Frog also has his own struggles, as we’ve seen with the new meme that’s surfaced. And his problems seem to closely resemble those of the average college student. So, here is Kermit explaining the eight real stages of doing (or not doing) homework.
1. You realize just how much you have to do. You try to work yourself up to do it, until your Evil Inner Self comes along and tempts you to join the dark side of procrastination and laziness. Refer to the “me to me” conversation above.
2. You have fallen slave to the dark side. You begin to do anything to avoid homework, sometimes even resorting to cleaning your room or doing laundry. Here, Kermit is seen trying on new clothes in the mirror and contemplating life, when he could be doing his homework. Good for you, Kermit. Good for you.
3. But, it’s still in the back of your mind. Try as you might, you can’t escape it. The homework is still there. And it is waiting for you.
4. Oops. You’ve been stuck so long in the dark side with your Evil Inner Self that you didn’t realize just how much you’d procrastinated. It’s horrifying. You gaze in disbelief and despair at the pile of books and papers that you have to memorize tonight. You can’t hide from it anymore.
5. Oh no. This is really happening.
6. You fall to the floor crying. “Woe is me!” you sob. You just can’t believe the amount of things you have to do. Hey, at least right now you can’t see the homework through all your tears.
7. “GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! You need to do this! The homework isn’t going to do itself! You don’t want to work at McDonald’s for the rest of your life do you?! I didn’t think so – get to it!” says your Good Inner Self.
8. After many hours and many more tears, you have finally done it. You did your homework. And not only that, you crushed it. Victory is yours (and Kermit’s)! You will go down in history; future generations will talk about you and your accomplishments for years to come. As for right now, it's time for more Netflix. You deserve it. Ribbit ribbit.
